Quangowocky (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

‘Twas reading and, at Gove’s behest -

No consultation must delay -

All nonsense was the phonics test

That the kids had sat that day.

“Beware the real words, my son!

That mean something, that rhyme and match!

Beware the meaningful and shun.

Yurk, dar, grint are the new batch!”

He took his vengsome sword in hand:

Long time the Revolution’s foes he sought -

So rushed he to the Maoist tree,

T’see what he could import.

And as in doitish thought he stood,

The Quangowock, with eyes aflame,

Quoam pronking through the sprunchy wood,

And ploobled as it came.

One, two, one two! And through and through

The vengsome blade went doit and gax.

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Quangowock?

Come to my arms, my doitish boy!

O quangless day! No QCDA!”

He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas policy and at Gove’s behest -

No consultation must delay -

All whimsy was the Bacc’ltest,

Awarded retrospectively.

Richard Fraser, Blogger for Voice: the union for education professionals, Derby.