Till death us do part? This moving image shows marriage at its best, a long, sustained and loving relationship. Sadly, some marriages go wrong and this topic needs careful handling so children don’t feel that it’s their family under public scrutiny.
Partners
When you are grown up what sort of qualities would you look for in the person you might spend most of your life with? What is important in a marriage (good looks, sense of humour, shared interests and beliefs, kindness, similar temperament) and how can you recognise these features? Are people different during courtship, or do you think you can recognise the “real” person from the beginning? Is there any quality or behaviour (gambling, drinking, dishonesty, selfishness, infidelity, violence) that would put you off someone? How do you think a potential partner might see you, in terms of your strengths and weaknesses? Look at the specific marriage vows - what exactly are people promising, and how easy will it be to keep the promises (for example, “in sickness and in health” or “for richer, for poorer”)?
Lasting relationships
Some relationships last and others break up. Why is this, and do people give enough thought to what they are undertaking? Imagine a couple in their 20s, 40s and 60s. How might their relationship change over the decades (more companionship; youthful shared interests may have disappeared to be replaced by something else; more aggravation if they don’t get on, but even greater affection if they do)? Do you know any couples - friends,neighbours, relatives - who have had a silver, ruby or golden wedding anniversary, and what qualities do they have that have helped them stay together?
Age
Why do children often get on well with their grandparents (older people have more time, patience, only have to look after them part of their time)? Why are people living longer (better medical care, treatments for what used to be killer diseases)? How can people stay healthy in old age (exercise, good diet, mental stimulation, companionship)?
Writing
(a) Imagine this couple’s life story - how did they meet, what have they done during their marriage, why are they still so fond of each other? (b) invent some captions or speech bubbles that are not too cruel (“Are we off to the disco then?”; “I’m going to eat most of this cake”. “No you’re not, or I’ll divorce you”).
Ted Wragg is professor of education at Exeter University * Talking points
Is marriage still an appropriate institution, or is it outmoded?
For
People should not live together and raise children without an agreed relationship. Love, respect, consideration, mutual support are all positive qualities that marriage can develop and sustain. Most people keep their vows, but if they break them all the other people involved are protected by the law.
Against
It is perfectly possible to have a stable and committed relationship without a wedding. The law can still protect people who are deserted. The high divorce rate shows that marriage does not guarantee permanence, as people break their promises. Other societies have alternatives which seem to work equally well.
