A teacher once told my mother that I was too assertive. My mother replied: “How can you be too assertive?” Clearly, the apple had not fallen far from the tree.

I went to school in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Pupils were not permitted to challenge teachers and we certainly didn’t question their decisions. Thankfully, over time, the rights of children have become more protected and a culture of openness has developed in schools.

Today, teachers encourage children to share their views and help them to learn how to express them appropriately. But is that expression granted and received in the same way for girls as it is for boys?

I have seen many excellent teachers support, develop and nurture young women in expressing their views. I have also seen teachers and parents alike praise girls for their boldness and assertiveness. Yet I have started to question some of the terminology used when it is girls speaking up.

Why is it that girls who stand up for themselves or stand by their convictions are called sassy? Or plucky? Or fierce? Or feisty?

These terms are often used positively but, nonetheless, selectively. Why aren’t boys described as “sassy” for stating how they feel about a contentious topic?

I appreciate that people mean well in praising young women for expressing their opinions but it is time to think about the message that we are sending when we label them for these qualities. By highlighting this behaviour in girls but accepting it without comment from boys, we are drawing attention to young women for simply behaving in a way that they should feel at liberty to. We are subconsciously reinforcing the idea that their behaviour is against the norm.

When responding to children expressing themselves and their views, we need to look through a gender-neutral lens. We should be more conscious of the language that we use and continually check ourselves. Before labelling girls, ask yourself: would I use these words to describe a boy? If you wouldn’t use a particular word for a male student expressing himself in a particular situation, then you shouldn’t use it for a female one either.

It is vital that we continue the important work of empowering all children to speak up. We should praise all young people for stating how they feel and what they believe. We should give children who are not yet doing this the tools, opportunities and confidence to express themselves. And we should guide children who are on the path to doing this but may need some support to do it appropriately or respectfully, regardless of gender.

Erica Johnson-Cook teaches at St Mary’s Primary School in Stansted Mountfitchet, Essex

This article originally appeared in the 30 April 2021 issue under the headline “Stop calling bold female pupils ‘feisty’”