Dealing with behaviour can be exhausting. A telling off leads to an angry retort. An angry retort results in an official sanction. An official sanction provokes a public meltdown and the pupil’s ejection from the class. All too quickly, we’ve gone from rebuke to removal.

Situations like this may seem unavoidable, and it’s something every single teacher will struggle with at some point in their career.

But after a lot of trial and error, I’ve found that stepping back and carefully reframing my language makes a world of difference to behaviour.

Teacher language that helps behaviour management

There are six ways I do this in my classroom.

1. Avoid threats and ultimatums

When faced with poor behaviour, it’s tempting to draw lines in the sand: “If you do that again, I’m giving you a sanction.”

Threats like these, however, often produce defiant responses and a swift escalation of the situation. Instead, calmly reinforce your classroom norms: “I’m just going to remind everyone about my expectations… I don’t want to have to start giving out sanctions.”

2. Turn down the heat

Direct but non-threatening language stops behaviour management becoming gladiatorial. When a pupil raises their voice at us, for example, we might instinctively respond with heated language: “Don’t you dare raise your voice at me!”

• How to tackle low-level disruption
• How important are textbooks?
• What makes good evidence? The EEF explains

As calm communicators, however, we need to dampen the emotional temperature. Rather than meeting fire with fire, we can quell the heat by politely stating: “I’m not shouting at you, so I’m not sure why you’re raising your voice at me.”

This reframing usually leads to pupils recognising their overreaction and modifying their behaviour.

3. Tackle behaviour discreetly

Another common error is to make behaviour management a public spectacle. When dealing with an irksome issue, we can feel the need to admonish a pupil publicly: “Jacob! Turn around and face the front!”

But a quiet word or, better still, a non-verbal signal, is much more effective. When teaching a new pupil who behaves like this, reframe your communication with a discreet word: “I’ve not met you before but you haven’t created a good first impression. I want you to show me the real, polite, hard-working you.”

4. Reset the room

Similarly, rhetorical questions, which are often accompanied by a sarcastic tone, can provoke negative responses from students: “Why are you talking when I’m talking?”

Instead, focusing our language on positive expectations generally elicits the desired result: “Some of you have forgotten their manners and are speaking over me. A reminder that…”

5. Give precise instructions

Behaviour management also fails when our expectations are unclear: “You’re being too noisy. You need to work quietly.”

How much noise is too much noise? What exactly do you mean by quiet? These vague instructions lack the necessary precision to produce an optimal learning environment.

Instead, reframe your instructions like this: “So we can fully focus, we’re going to work in silence,” or, “During this task, I only want to hear whispering voices.”

6. Adopt a calm, direct persona

To avoid behaviour management becoming a draining grind, maintain an open and calm persona.

Negative behaviour can’t be ignored, but by taking a proactive stance and thinking carefully about how you communicate, you can avoid the unpleasant aftermath of a confrontational approach.

Mark Roberts teaches English and is director of research at Carrickfergus Grammar School in Co Antrim, Northern Ireland