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Baby talk

For one nursery school teacher the Easter story did not come soon enough. Just before the holidays she was faced with the ultimate question: "See that baby Jesus that was born during the Christmas holidays? How's he daein'?"

John Muir, far north adviser in Highland, is collecting another volume of Classroom Clangers. A recent tale concerns the visit to school by the mother of a boy frequently in trouble. Informed of a playground incident the previous evening in which he might have been involved she was able to provide an alibi: he had been with his father all evening.

The teacher immediately apologised for jumping to conclusions, saying that it must have been a case of mistaken identity.

"Aw, that's OK," replied the mother. "If he hadnae a' been away, he wud a' been there, for sure."

Meanwhile in cloistered calm, a secondary pupil was sent to ask the teacher next door if she could borrow some marbles for a science experiment. The girl was standing at the open classroom door as the pupils worked away quietly when an anonymous muttering was heard from the back of the room: "No point in asking her, she lost all hers years ago."

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