Why you can’t hide behind email for tricky chats

Teachers may all be working remotely but difficult conversations and sensitive matters still require a face-to-face connection
23rd February 2021, 9:45am

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Why you can’t hide behind email for tricky chats

https://www.tes.com/magazine/archived/why-you-cant-hide-behind-email-tricky-chats
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As an English teacher, the power of words is something I am forever discussing with my students. This power exists in everything we write, too - not just literature.

For example, how does modality make a difference to the tone of a text? “Would you mind…” versus “you need to…” can make a real impact on whether someone slams their computer lid down in frustrated disgust or happily turns up to cover a Year 9 lesson. 

Connotations of language can also mean that while you think you are communicating a simple message - for example, “we need to be prepared for virtual learning should a future need arise” - your audience picks up a totally different subtext - “we’re going into another lockdown!”. 

How, where and when

This is why I am always greatly aware of the importance of thinking carefully about not just what we communicate with our teams but how we do it: the choice of language, the time of day and, most crucially, the medium we use.

One of my early experiences of leading a team that included a “difficult” colleague helped me develop a mantra for communication that I have tried to follow ever since. 

When you can, speak to someone in person, and for conversations that have the potential to become challenging, always conduct them face to face. 

Words with an absence of tone, facial expression, body language and gestures have the potential to twist and turn into their own amorphous mess of misunderstanding. In person, there is a connection, a chance for dialogue and an opportunity for immediate clarification. 

Of course, there can still be a disconnect between what you are saying and how the other person hears it, but you have limited the opportunity for “keyboard-warrior”-type behaviour and the negative spiral of energy that this can spawn. 

Take the time to get it right

In the current climate, communication has been even more important in maintaining a connection between every member of a school community - but also a lot harder. 

If we can no longer invite parents on to campus, how do we have the often emotionally charged conversations about their children, when being able to read someone’s face can be vital in handling the situation?

How can we be sure our colleagues have understood a key new initiative or policy requirement if we cannot meet together to discuss it properly? 

Lockdown issues

Wearing a mask also makes life harder - and means the power of words takes on an even greater significance.

After all, while young children, especially, are often far more tuned in to tone, facial expressions and what they can read in a face rather than the words you are using, adults rely on this, too.

But even in these difficult times, I would argue that my mantra still stands. 

While actual face-to-face meetings may be off the table for the foreseeable, virtual video calls are still, in my opinion, preferable to using email or even a phone call. 

Plenty of schools are finding that virtual parents’ evenings are actually far more productive and provide greater flexibility for both teachers and parents. 

The “new normal” of online working also means that arranging a 15-minute video call can get to the root of the issue much more quickly than an endless back and forth email chain. 

Words are only part of the strands of meaning that make up how we communicate with others. Aligning your tone, facial expressions, body language and choice of language is vital if you are truly going to utilise the power of your words.

Emily Hardwicke is assistant head (lower school), middle years programme coordinator and head of English at an international school in Switzerland

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