It was September 2006, and I’d stepped into my first headship only 18 months after becoming a deputy. I wasn’t ready. Or at least, that’s how it felt. My excitement was quickly replaced by fear.

I remember saying to my coach: “I can’t get used to feeling like I’m constantly on the edge of my comfort zone.” Every decision seemed to carry enormous weight; every interaction was magnified.

One morning, just days into the role, my PA said: “Ooh, you’ve upset someone this morning!” Apparently, I’d walked past a colleague without saying good morning. That’s all it took. Yet the realisation hit me hard… I’d entered a world where everything I did, and didn’t do, mattered.

At that point, I was anything but calm.

Those early years were full of lessons. I made mistakes, overthought everything and constantly questioned myself. But I also grew. Slowly but surely, I found my footing, developed perspective and confidence, and embraced the fact that leadership is difficult - and that’s OK.

Nineteen years later, I’m still in headship and still learning. But I’ve discovered something that’s kept me grounded: “Calm Leadership.”

What is ‘Calm Leadership’?

Calm leadership isn’t about being unflappable, emotionless or pretending things don’t get to you, because of course they will. But it’s about how you respond when they do.

Calm leaders have perspective. They know leadership is about people, not just systems or spreadsheets. They stay productive and optimistic under pressure, prioritising values and purpose over short-term wins. They project a reassuring authority that steadies those around them.

For me, Calm Leadership is:

• Quiet, but not meek.
• Compassionate, but not weak.
• Purpose-driven, not ego-driven.
• Emotionally intelligent - fuelled by emotions but not controlled by them.

When pressure mounts, calm leaders don’t panic. They seek solutions, not drama. They put people before process.

Why ‘Calm Leadership’ matters

School leadership has never been tougher.

Expectations rise, accountability tightens and demands multiply. Department for Education data shows that over a third of secondary school headteachers and a quarter of primary heads left within five years of their appointment in 2015 - and I suspect the picture hasn’t improved.

That’s not turnover - that’s burnout.

Whenever I meet new or aspiring heads, I’m often asked: “How have you done this for so long?” My answer: I’ve learned to lead calmly.

Calm Leadership is about sustainability, pacing yourself, protecting your energy and remembering that how you lead matters as much as what you achieve.

The myth of the ‘hero head’

Early in my career, I thought leadership meant being bold, commanding and in control, the kind of head who “sorts things out” instantly. Those were the leaders I saw around me: confident, combative, unflappable. I tried to emulate that once or twice, but it never felt right. It felt performative and (if I’m honest) exhausting.

I had to learn to lead my way: in a way that aligned with my values, my personal style and that ultimately felt natural. I had to learn to be the best version of myself.

I recently read Carlo Ancelotti’s Quiet Leadership, and I felt resonance and vindication. In football, a sport dominated by aggression and ego, Ancelotti leads with empathy, humour and calm authority. If calmness can win the Champions League, it can certainly lead schools.

Leading with humanity

Calm Leadership puts humanity at the heart of leadership.

Kindness and strength aren’t opposites - you can make tough decisions with empathy, hold people to account with fairness and model composure even when you don’t feel it.

Calmness isn’t passive… It’s active: choosing your response instead of reacting to every provocation, and remembering your purpose when the noise gets loud.

A call to leaders

If you’re new to leadership or feeling worn down by it, ask yourself:

• What kind of leader am I naturally?
• When do I feel most at ease?
• When do I feel most unlike myself?

The more aligned your leadership is with who you truly are, the calmer you’ll feel and the more effective you’ll become.

Calm Leadership doesn’t mean you won’t feel pressure; it means you’ll learn to hold your shape when it comes. It’s about staying grounded, staying in control and staying the course.

So, whatever your challenge this week, take a breath and stay calm.

Patrick Cozier is an experienced secondary school headteacher. He leads Highgate Wood School in Haringey and is a member of the Headteachers’ Roundtable. His book, Calm Leadership: Staying grounded, staying in control and staying the course, will be published by Crown House in December 2025

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