If you’ve set foot in an early years classroom recently, the chances are you’ll have encountered some kind of teaching and learning around emotional literacy.

From colour-coded mood charts to puppet-led “feeling check-ins”, emotional development approaches are becoming staples in the early years.

But as these initiatives gain traction, it’s worth asking: are they genuinely helping children? Or are we over-engineering the process of reflecting on and regulating feelings in a way that undermines natural emotional development?

At their best, emotional literacy programmes offer young children the vocabulary, safety and support to begin understanding complex internal states. This can be particularly powerful for children who struggle to self-regulate or who haven’t had secure early attachments.

Research shows that children who are emotionally literate tend to have stronger peer relationships, better problem-solving skills and more positive mental health outcomes later on in life. For instance, a 2017 study led by Megan McClelland found that structured social and emotional learning (SEL) interventions in the early years can lead to long-term gains in both behaviour and attainment (although the study does also acknowledge that further research is needed).

The problem with emotional literacy

When implemented well, then, these programmes have the potential to equip children with the building blocks of empathy, resilience and emotional expression.

However, like with any intervention, the devil is in the detail - and the delivery. One of the major pitfalls is the risk of emotional literacy being reduced to a “tick-box” exercise. If we treat feelings like we do phonics - as something teachable, measurable and assessable - we run the risk of oversimplifying the complexity of human emotion.

It’s also worth considering whether placing too much weight on the importance of recognising and labelling emotions can backfire in another way. There’s a danger that if we focus too heavily on helping children to name emotions, we might overlook the equally important skill of tolerating them.

Emotional literacy isn’t just about recognising sadness; it’s about learning that sadness is OK. It passes. It doesn’t need to be solved right away.

In theory, a good emotional literacy programme should make communicating this to children a focus of the learning. However, in practice this isn’t always happening.

None of this means that emotional literacy programmes are inherently flawed, but that they must be used with care and in moderation.

So, how can early years practitioners make the most of these approaches without letting them dominate the day?

1. Embed, don’t bolt on

Emotional learning doesn’t need to be timetabled. The best emotional teaching happens organically through everyday interactions: a squabble over a toy, a scraped knee in the garden or a moment of triumph at the snack table. These are golden opportunities for co-regulation and emotional coaching.

This might mean a practitioner sitting alongside a child who is frustrated, encouraging them to breathe, offering calm words or simply staying present until the intensity passes. Emotional coaching could involve narrating what’s happening (“I can see you’re angry because your tower fell down”) and then guiding the child towards a strategy for coping with or repairing the situation.

2. Use resources as springboards, not scripts

Resources like storybooks, puppets and flashcards can be helpful prompts, but their use should not be treated as the goal of the learning. The real value lies in the conversations they spark. Be responsive. Let children lead. If a child veers off into a story about their pet hamster during a “feelings” circle, follow them there. That’s where the real emotional learning happens.

3. Prioritise relationships

No programme can replace a secure, trusting adult-child relationship. Children learn emotional skills best through “attunement”: when adults mirror, name and respond to their emotional cues with warmth and consistency. This starts not with charts or checklists but with connection.

For instance, if a child arrives at nursery looking withdrawn, an attuned adult might gently acknowledge their mood by saying something like, “You seem a bit quiet this morning,” offering a reassuring smile or touch, and staying close until the child feels ready to join in.

In moments of excitement, attunement could simply mean sharing the joy - crouching down, making eye contact and celebrating a child’s achievement with genuine enthusiasm.

4. Accept the messiness

Sometimes a child won’t be able to articulate how they feel, and that’s OK. Rather than pushing for a label, offer presence. For example, “I can see you’re upset. I’m here.” That simple act of co-regulation builds emotional resilience in a way that no pre-planned scheme can.

Ultimately, emotional literacy is vital but that doesn’t mean it is something we can, or should, “teach” in the traditional sense. Instead, we need to model it, live it and embed it into the fabric of our settings.

When we create environments where emotions are accepted, understood and held with care, we give children the best possible foundation for navigating the ups and downs of life.

Gemma Kirby is a nursery director in the West Midlands

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