The Good Samaritan Assembly or Class Play - CAST OF 10 NB: This play, cast of 10, is a re-telling of the parable with complementary discussion notes on the bystander effect. (The full-length assembly with a cast of 30 (separate purchase) starts with this same cast of 10 but has an additional 20 speakers dealing with ‘the bystander effect’ with reference to today’s society, delivered via five different scenarios). This script with a cast of 10 can be read in around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions at beginning and end). It is, of course, one of the best-known parables from the Bible and so can be used in an R.E. lesson or for Church and Sunday School activities. It has particular relevance in our world today and can thus be used for PSHE and Citizenship classes - the play acting as an introduction to a lesson on The Bystander Effect with all its implications for us as a society. Sample Text (Enter Good Samaritan) Jewish Man: Oh hello! And who do we have this time? (Groaning) Oh! A Samaritan! Just my luck! There’s no way he’s going to stop! (Good Samaritan bends over Jewish Man and offers to help him up) Good Samaritan: Oh dear! Whatever happened to you? Here, let me help you up. Jewish Man: Well, that’s very kind. And very unexpected! Good Samaritan: Whatever do you mean? Jewish Man: Well. You being a Samaritan and me being a Jew. We’re not exactly ‘on the same team’ so to speak, are we? Good Samaritan: And since when did ‘being on the same team’ have anything to do with looking out for your fellow human beings? Oh dear, you’ve taken a real beating there. I’m so sorry. Here, let me put some bandaging on those sores. (Good Samaritan takes bandages from his bag, and pours oil and wine over them) This should make you feel better. Jewish Man: You are so kind! Thank you so much. Good Samaritan: (Laughing) It’s nothing! You didn’t really think I’d leave you here? Just walk on by? Jewish Man: I most certainly did! Good Samaritan: (Laughing) Ridiculous! You seem to have lost all faith in your fellow mankind! Jewish Man: Well, let’s just say you just restored it – my faith in mankind, that is. Thank you again.

David and Goliath Assembly, Class Play or Guided Reading Script Cast of 10 Duration: 5 - 10 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions) This play may be used as an assembly for performance, or a play or guided reading script within the classroom. Along with delivering the story of David and Goliath, there are brief notes at the end to facilitate further discussion - on the themes of bullying, self-belief and self-strength. There are numerous other scripts on these themes in the PSHE section of the website including one on bullying which could be combined with this script to produce a longer play. Sample Text Goliath: Well, let’s see if he can work the same magic (pauses) on the battlefield! David: Against you? I’m more than up for it! King Saul: But that’s insane! Servant: Yes, begging your pardon, but how can you possibly hope to win (pauses, pointing at Goliath) against that? David: (Shrugging his shoulders, casually) What’s to prove? He’s just (pauses) Servant: (Interrupting) Big? Philistine Soldier 1: (Clapping) Bravo! Philistine Soldier 2: (Clapping) So you noticed? David: Huh! Size isn’t everything! (Goliath strides over to David, towering above him) Goliath: Oh really? (David stands his ground, unflinching) David: Yes, really! You don’t frighten me, you great bully! There’s more to winning a battle than sheer brawn, you know. Narrator: No, I rather fear he doesn’t know. I’m not even sure he understands what you’re saying! Goliath: (Furiously) Understand what you’re saying? What’s to understand, that’s what I want to know! Narrator: Quite! My point exactly! (David starts to walk away) Goliath: Huh! I knew he wouldn’t stick around! A coward, like the rest of you! King Saul: Oh, don’t be so ridiculous! Look at you! All ready in your battle gear! Does my lad David look ready to you? Goliath: Well, now you come to mention it King Saul: So. If you don’t mind, we’ll just take a short time to get David into my armour and David: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! That won’t be necessary! I’m pretty much good to go! King Saul: But what about some protection? A body shield at least? David: No, no. That won’t be necessary, either. I know what I need and I’ll be back in a minute. (Exit David) Goliath: Bah! Just an excuse to do a runner! You wait! There’s no way that wee boy is coming back to take on me!

Cricket Class Play or Assembly (‘nod’ to World Cup) Anyone for Cricket? This class play or assembly, cast of 30, is approximately 20 minutes long and should be performed if only for that wonderful track by 10 CC – Dreadlock Holiday! (Who doesn’t know classic line ‘I don’t like Cricket,… oh no… I love it!?) Apart from giving an outline of the game, and some of its past heroes, there is an exploration of cricket terminology – an A to Z of surely some of the wackiest jargon in or out of the sporting world! For sports and non-sports folk alike – Enjoy! Sample Text Narrator: Ah! Our final innings of the day! Player 1: We’ll be sure to make this a fine pongo! (All Players raise their bats in triumph) Narrator: Pongo meaning a high score! Player 1: Correct. Lots of runs! Umpire 1: (Standing) But we’ll be keeping an eye on the quota. Umpire 2: (Standing) That’s the total number of overs (maximum ten) given to a bowler Umpire 1: Typically, the total overs in the innings Umpire 2: Divided by five, Umpire 1: And then rounded to the next highest whole number. Narrator: (Clutching his head) Well, I’ll most certainly leave the maths to you! (Both Umpires sit down, smiling) Player 2: Rabbit! Narrator: I beg your pardon! Player 2: That’s what a rubbish batsman is called! (All Players shake their heads, in disgust) Narrator: Ooh. That’s not nice! I mean, no offence to bunnies but Player 3: (Interrupting) Rain delay! (All Players groan) Player 3: Nothing more frustrating when you want to get on with the game! Player 4: Red cherry. Spectator 5: That’s the nickname for the red cricket ball! Player 4: Correct! Player 5: Rib tickler! Spectator 1: Would that be a ball that hits the batsman in the midriff? Player 5: Well done! You see how easy our jargon is? Player 6: Sawn off! (All Players gasp in anger and two Umpires stand up defiantly, with arms crossed) Umpire 1: Our word is what goes! Umpire 2: Nobody should argue with that! Umpire 1: If we say a player is dismissed Umpire 2: That’s an end to it! Spectator 2: But what if you get it wrong? (Umpires 1 and 2 gasp in horror) Umpires 1 & 2: (Together) We never get it wrong! (Players continue to glare at two Umpires as they sit down) Narrator: (Coughing) Moving on! Player 7: Sitter! Spectator 3: Ooh. You never want to drop one of those! The shame of missing an easy catch! Player 7: (Shaking head) Indeed. Player 8: Skier! Another ball you really don’t want to miss! These are a miss hit, go up in the sky Narrator: And I can only imagine the embarrassment of having all that time and then missing the catch! (Players all clutch their heads)

Collection I of Fairy Tale Quickies! Short, Small Cast Fairy Tale Plays for Key Stage I Nice n Quick – Easy to deliver There are longer versions of these fairy tale plays but this collection is just of the quickie variety! i.e. around 5 minutes which can be extended depending on the amount of ‘performance’/sophistication of props. The idea of these scripts is to give teachers of Key Stage I children the opportunity to put on quick, easy to deliver ‘plays’/assemblies. These scripts provide a starting point: a set of ‘templates’ which can be adapted to the needs/levels of the children. The script can be changed/the language simplified or omitted – or the reverse, as in more content added, level of text ‘upped’. A rough indication is given of whether the script best suits lower or upper Key Stage I but it is really for the teacher to choose the best ‘match’ for her children. Oh and they all have slightly different endings! Lessons, I hope, in good manners! The Old Woman and the Pig - cast of 10 (lower Key Stage I) Old Woman (Teacher) Water Pig Horse Dog Rope Stick Rat Fire Cat The Three Little Pigs – cast of 6 (upper Key Stage I – and there is another longer version, upper Key Stage I/Lower Key Stage II – 10 mins – that is also available) Narrator Mother Pig Little Pig One Big Bad Wolf Little Pig Two Little Pig Three Goldilocks and the Three Bears – cast of 5 (lower Key Stage I) Narrator Daddy Bear Goldilocks Baby Bear Mummy Bear The Three Billy Goats Gruff – cast of 5 (upper Key Stage I; a longer version, upper KSI – 10 mins – is also available) Narrator Large Billy Goat Small Billy Goat Troll Medium Billy Goat The Princess and the Pea - Cast of 6 (lower Key Stage I; a longer version, upper KSI – 10 mins – is also available) Narrator King Prince Maid Princess Queen

Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Assembly 7-11-year-olds KSII Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Assembly KSII script has been tweaked from Queen’s Diamond Jubilee script reflecting the life of Queen Elizabeth II and her family, achievements etc over 70 years. Cast of 30 Duration around 20 minutes This is one of four scripts now available on the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. The other three are: The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Assembly for 5- 7 year-olds KS I The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly on the years 1952 – 2022 is an adaptation of my History of Rock n Roll assembly. This covers world events but with a musical twist (up to 34 suggested songs!) The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly on the English Monarchy – this being a quick gallop from Alfred to our present queen! Sample Text Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects – the same today as seventy years ago! Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, no offence, your Majesty! But we are here today to congratulate you on your seventy years as queen! Queen: Thank you. I have of course celebrated three other jubilees – a silver one in 1977 celebrating twenty-five years, a golden one in 2002 celebrating fifty years; and a diamond one in 2012 celebrating sixty years. Narrator: And we are delighted to be celebrating your Platinum Jubilee with you today, in 2022! Queen: Oh the pleasure is all mine! It wouldn’t, after all, be any fun celebrating on one’s own! Narrator: No, indeed, Ma’am. And we, your loyal subjects, have been busy finding out all about your most gracious self! Queen: Oh, really? I hope it’s all ‘good’! Narrator: Most certainly, Ma’am. No need to alarm yourself on our account! Do take a seat – I apologise we couldn’t fit your throne in today! Queen: (Sitting down) That’s quite alright! Narrator: So (turning to cast) – take it away, people! (Each child stands up in turn and delivers information about the queen)

The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Class Play or Assembly on the English Monarchy takes us from Alfred the Great to Elizabeth II. With a cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) and lasting approximately 10 – 15 minutes, it focuses on Queen Elizabeth’s ancestry – a quick gallop through the English monarchy! The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Assembly on the English Monarchy is one of four Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Assemblies now available off the website. The other three are: The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly – about the Queen and her life, family, achievements etc. This is available for KS I and II (separate scripts) The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly on the years 1952 – 2022 – an adaptation of my History of Rock n Roll assembly. This covers world events but with a musical twist (up to 35 suggested songs!) Cast of 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes not including music. There is also a complete listing of all our kings and queens. Sample Text: Queen: Ah! Thank you so much! One really does appreciate simple creature comforts as one gets older. It’s easy enough to forget that when you’re a queen! Narrator: I’m sure you’re right! Queen: Undoubtedly! But I’m not here to lecture you this morning! It is for you and your delightful children to tell me all about my delightful ancestors! (Turning to cast) I believe you have been studying them in history? How fascinating for you! Narrator: Oh, indeed it has been, ma’am. And we do hope you will also learn a few things that maybe you hadn’t known before about your forbears! Queen: Ooh! I can’t wait! Such a delightful lot, us royals! Narrator: (Aside) Oh oh! Something tells me the Queen may have a few shocks in store! I hope she takes it in the right spirit – or I could shortly find myself a little uncomfortable ….in the Tower! Child 1: This morning we’d like to start with the present royal family – the House of Windsor. There’s (holding up picture of William) William, now happily married to Kate – sorry, Katherine, the Duchess of Cambridge! Child 2: William is the eldest son of (holds up picture) Charles, the Prince of Wales – now married to Camilla. Child 3: (Holding up picture) William’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, was tragically killed in a road accident in 1997 when William was 15 years old. Child 4: (Holding up picture) William has a younger brother, Harry. Child 5: William and Harry have a rather important grandma – the Queen! Queen: At last! I wondered how long it would take you to get to me!

The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee class play or assembly on the years 1952 – 2022 is an adaptation of my History of Rock n Roll assembly. This covers world events but with a musical twist (up to 35 suggested songs!) This is one of three scripts now available on the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee. The other two are: The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly – about the Queen and her life, family, achievements etc. The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee assembly on the English Monarchy – this being a quick gallop from Alfred to our present queen! Reading time: about 15 minutes. This does not include any music and as the ‘list’ is largely down to teacher discretion, this could vary greatly – from 15 to 60 minutes! Cast of 30 plus (could easily be doubled!) Sample Text: Music 20 God Save the Queen – Sex Pistols (Queen sits in state of total shock) (Narrator rushes over to queen and offers her handkerchief to mop her brow) Queen: Well! I’m not often lost for words but …. Narrator: (Effusively) I’m so sorry, Your Majesty! I had no idea this punk band were performing here today! Whatever next! Music 21 Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen Narrator: Ah! Queen! Queen: Pardon? Narrator: No, that’s the name of the band, Your Majesty! Queen: What? Named after me? Ah, splendid! (Looks quizzically at Freddie Mercury’s black leather trousers) Mmm. Not quite sure about the trousers … Music 22 Baggy Trousers – Madness Queen: Ah! That’s better! Now. How about a few more current events. Where were we? Ah yes! The seventies! (Enter 1970s children, holding up cards) Child 1: 1971: Decimal currency is introduced in Britain. Cast: (Together) Phew! Maths lessons now much easier! Child 1 (1971 continued): And Soviet Union launches first space station, Salyut 1. Child 2: 1973: Coal miners strike in Britain. State of emergency and 3 day working week are proclaimed. Child 3: 1976: Concorde flies!

Aladdin Class Play or Assembly Aladdin. This story could almost have been called A Tale of Two Genies – one that could be summoned via a lamp, the other by a ring. Yes, there was a poor lad called Aladdin who, under the instruction of an evil magician, found the lamp and used it to make himself rich; and then lost everything – all because he didn’t tell ‘his princess’ where his money had come from. But none of this would have happened … without the genies – masters themselves not just in the way of magic but in the art of certain social skills – namely good manners and the importance of sharing one’s good fortune – particularly relevant at Christmas - The emboldened text indicates relevance to Christmas but can be omitted for the rest of the year. The key message behind this script is the importance of sharing. Duration 15 minutes without the inclusion of the music suggestions Cast of 15 Sample Text Music 12 You Ain’t Seen Nothin Yet – Bachman-Turner Overdrive (Enter Genie 2) Genie 2: You called, master? (Aladdin and his mother both jump in surprise) Genie 2: Your wish is my command! Aladdin: Really? Well, in that case … (Pauses). Wait. I’ll make you a list! (Aladdin marches Genie 2 off stage, with his mother following behind) Narrator: So. Let us see how Aladdin sees fit to enjoy his new fortune. Music 13 Money Money Money – Abba (Enter Aladdin in rich clothing, arm in arm with the Princess, followed by the Sultan and Aladdin’s mother, with a weary Genie 2 bringing up the rear) Narrator: Well, well, well! That didn’t take him long! Fine clothing, a fine wife (pauses, then points) not to mention a very fine palace over there! Sultan: (Happily) Hasn’t my princess done well! And just when I was about to give up on her ever finding a husband! Narrator: (Aside) Strikes me, it’s Aladdin who’s done well (pauses) and all credit to Genie 2: (Yawning) Me! When I said ‘Your wish is my command’ I hadn’t reckoned on (pauses) well, I lost count of the number of things he commanded. Narrator: Commanded? Genie 2: Oh yes! Not one single please or thank you! (Sighing) That’s the youth of today for you! Narrator: What a bad example – for today’s youth, I mean. I am surprised. You’d have thought Genie 2: (Interrupting) Yes, I know. Coming from such poverty and all.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner Not exactly a laugh a minute, this one. But we do manage to salvage a happier ending for this particular script. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration around 35 minutes not including the music suggestions Despite its melancholy tone, there are some lighter moments … if you look carefully enough! Sample Text: Music 10 Thriller Michael Jackson (Crew performing macabre routine – transforming into ghouls) Narrator: Hey! Wait a minute. (Holding up script) According to this there were only 2 ghouls on that ship! (Enter two ghouls, Spectre-Woman and her skeletal Death-mate) Spectre-Woman: (Hissing, angrily) That would be me Death-mater: And me! Spectre-Woman: Who are these wretched phonies? Narrator: I do apologise! They just got a little carried away! Death-mate: I’ll say! Worst set of impersonators I’ve seen since, since Spectre-Woman: That shockingly bad karaoke we went to last time we were in town! Death-mate: Ugh! Worst night of my life. To end up there on a Saturday night! Spectre-Woman: Yes, a fate worse than death! Well, we should know! Narrator: (To Readers) Indeed. May we have a description of this lady, please? Reader 3: Her lips were red, her looks were free, Reader 4: Her locks were yellow as gold: Reader 5: Her skin was as white as leprosy, Reader 6: The Night-mare LIFE-IN-DEATH was she, Spectre-Woman: (Snatching line from Reader 7) Who thicks man’s blood with cold. Reader 7: Hey! That’s my line! Spectre-Woman: (To Reader 7, menacingly) Want to take me on, little reader? You are a reader, I gather. Not a reaper! In the case of the latter I’d be more than happy for you to join our little team! Reader 7: (Squirming in fright) Oh no! That’s quite all right! Death-mate: (Spitting) Pathetic, aren’t they? (Advancing on crew, who all run away) They couldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone an albatross! (To Ancient Mariner) Speaking of which, isn’t that what you have hanging around your neck?

Second World War School Assembly or Class Play What was the Blitz? What was it like to be an evacuee? What did Morrisons have to do with bomb shelters? Why did Americans call the first 6 months the ‘phoney war’? (Also available, set of 5 guided reading play scripts, with quizzes - Background/Beginnings of War, The Course of the War, Evacuation, the Blitz and War-time Life/Rationing; plus a collection of First World War scripts - Remembrance Day Assembly, First World War Assembly and First World War Poets Assembly) SAMPLE TEXT Second World War or World War II Assembly Evacuee 5: I was lucky. Although I got separated from my brother, I was looked after by a very kind couple .. and didn’t want to go back to the grimy old city I’d left. Evacuee 1:I was so home sick. But my Mum said she could only visit once a month. Evacuee 2: I wanted to go home too. But it was for our own safety. (All walk off. Sound of bombs and air raid siren. Air Raid Warden rushes on). Warden: (grabbing child): Quick! It’s an air raid! If you’re not quick, you’re dead! Get yourself into a shelter now! Narrator: Yes, once those sirens went on, you really didn’t want to be out in the open. Best be (pointing at 2 adults and 2 children under table) snuggled together, indoors, under your Morrisons Shelter. Mum (brandishing Morrisons bag). Two for one, this week only! ________________________________________ TEACHING ‘COVERAGE’ 6. Unit 9 Second World War Assembly (i) Whose was to blame? (ii) Timeline: 1914 – 1945 - Origins in First World War - Chamberlain’s Appeasement Policy - Fates of different countries - Battle of Britain - Blitz - V.E. Day - Hiroshima/Nagasaki - V.J. Day (iii) Who was involved (location on map) (iv) Evacuees (v) Air Raids/Shelters (vi) Recreation (vii) Rationing (viii) Role of Army, RAF and Navy (ix) Women’s role (x) Anne Frank (xi) Remembrance Sunday (In Flanders Fields) (xii) Today’s World Situation (United Nations) (xiii) Lessons learnt. MUSIC 1. Land of Hope and Glory 2. Run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run 3. Dad's Army theme 4. Pack up your troubles 5. Imagine -John Lennon

World Cup 2018 Assembly Cast Size – 33 as this includes Referee plus 32 competing nations - but speaking parts can be doubled up, to the number required. Duration - Around 20 minutes (not including music) A referee's job is never the easiest in the world - but put him in charge of 32 teams from across the world - all together, at the same time ..... Does he have his work cut out or does he have his work cut out?! Join him plus 32 nations in this celebration of the World Cup - all lining up for one of the greatest sporting events on the planet! Sample Text: Referee: Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What are we here celebrating today? Whole Cast: (Shouting louder) THE WORLD CUP! (Referee blows whistle) Referee: OK. OK. Sit down everyone. Don’t let’s get too excited! It is, after all, only football! English Fan: (In outrage) Pardon? Have you never heard what the great Bill Shankly had to say? Referee: No. But I’ve a feeling I’m going to! English Fan: He said “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that”! Referee: (Shrugging) And there was me, thinking it was just sport! So, let’s find out a little more about the World Cup, starting with where it’s going to be held this year, 2018. Russia: In Russia! We, as the host nation, (turning to cast) are happy to welcome you all! (Everyone cheers) Referee: Thank you, Russia. Tell me. How many countries are there competing this year? Russia: Thirty two! Referee: Let’s meet them! In Group A (Each country, represented by a fan dressed in his team colours, stands and waves national flag in turn before sitting down again) Russia: Russia! We’re the host nation Saudi Arabia: Saudi Arabia. The first team to take on the host nation in the opening match! Egypt: Egypt! Referee: Welcome back! Egypt: Yes, it’s been 28 years since our last appearance in a world cup, in 1990. Uruguay: Uruguay! We were the very first host, in 1930.

Baghdad Early Islamic Civilization Assembly Cast size: 30 - easily adaptable up or down as, besides the Narrator, the speaking parts are just numbered 1 - 29. Duration: Around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions) This assembly is intended as a celebration of learning and toleration. And it is to this end that the focus is on the work of the individual scholars, working in unison in Baghdad, during this Golden Age. Included is a brief comparison of ‘East and West’– comparing London and Baghdad. Also available from Sue Russell: • Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation Guided Reading Scripts 5 scripts, 6 speakers each, plus quiz for each script. Approximately 5 minutes reading time for each (not including the quiz) 1. When? 2. Where? 3. The Story of Muhammed 4. Beliefs of Islam 5. World Religions And • An Assembly on Islam which tells the story of Muhammed and gives a brief outline of Islamic beliefs Sample Text: Music 1 Golden Years – David Bowie; or Imagine – John Lennon (Children file in, taking places along two rows of 15, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Baghdad and Early Islamic Civilisation (Child 1, 2 and 3 stand up with 3 banners: Golden Age, Learning and Tolerance) Narrator: Aha! And when was this Golden Age? Child 1: It was between the seventh and thirteenth centuries. That is, around six to twelve hundred A.D. Narrator: That’s a long time (looking towards Child 2 and 3) to be learned and tolerant! Child 4: Oh. You’d be surprised what mankind is capable of when the conditions are right! Narrator: (Looking at cast) Well. I think we need to find out what these ‘conditions’ were, don’t you? (Narrator ushers Child 2 and 3 with banners Learning and Tolerance to front of ‘stage’) After all, aren’t Learning (Child 2 waves banner) And Tolerance Child 3 waves banner) Two of the most important ingredients to a happy and stable society? Child 4: And a happy and stable school! Child 5: Yes, we (gesturing to cast) have all learned a huge amount about the importance of Learning and Tolerance Child 6: Just by doing this assembly! Narrator: How so? Child 7: Well, we’ve learned all about this amazing civilisation that we knew nothing about before Child 8: And we’ve learned how it actually was, and is, possible to work together for the greater good.

Grammar and Punctuation Assembly Two camps: Grammys and Punks! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes This class play attempts to cover at least the basics of our great English Language - a pretty tough challenge! 'Coverage' includes: Punctuation: Capital Letters Full Stops Exclamation Marks Question Marks Commas Colons Semicolons Brackets Hyphens Quotation Marks Apostrophes Grammar: Nouns Proper Common Collective Abstract Pronouns Adjectives; Verbs Present Past Future Active and Passive Regular and Irregular Adverb; Preposition Conjunction Sample Text Narrator: (Growing increasingly impatient) Yes! Yes! Do please say what you’ve got to say! We do have a few more parts of speech apart from yourself to get through, you know! Grammy 2: (Huffily) Oh very well. I’ll keep it brief! (Punks all cheer) Grammy 2: Well, proper nouns are really just names. (Pauses) There! Is that brief enough for you? Narrator: Excellent! Thank you for that! (To audience) Phew! I thought for one awful moment we were going to be stuck with proper nouns until the end of the assembly! Next! Grammy 3: (Bashfully) Me? Oh I’m just a common noun! Narrator: Oh! Nothing remotely common about you I’m sure! Grammy 3: But that’s what I’m called! Grammy 2: That’s right! I’m proper! And he’s common! Word: Well, there are quite a few other types, like Grammy 4: Collective nouns – for example, a swarm of bees, a herd of sheep Grammy 5: And abstract nouns – things you can’t hold in your hand - like anger, time Narrator: (Looking at watch) Speaking of which, yes, I think that’s enough on nouns! Grammy 6: (Squeaking) But hey! I might be small, but don’t forget me! Narrator: And you are? Grammy 6: I’m a pronoun! Very important I am! Narrator: (To audience) Just like the rest of them! State your business, briefly if you can!

Australian Assembly In celebration of Australia Day - joint narration by Pom and Swagman - an interesting mix of language and culture! tapping into this great country's history, geography and culture. Cast Size 24 but easily adjustable up or down (information can be split up between several more children taking cast size to 30) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time – this does not include music suggestions and ‘song performances’ Following is a review from publisher contact: A short play giving a lot of information about the land down under: some history, some wildlife, some music and some facts and figures to round it all out. This is another well-presented assembly from Sue Russell. There is the usual large cast size to accommodate a class group, with the many, small parts offset by having the two main characters who are onstage for the majority of the production. There are regular musical interludes to add interest, and any passages that contain recitation of facts, figures or histories are balanced by changing the speakers or having the characters react – I particularly liked the Swagman complaining there was too much dry information. To conclude: a bright, fast overview of a big, big country and a good introduction to a school topic. Sample Text Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Australia. (Swagman strolls nonchalantly onto stage, looking around and ‘sizing' everyone up, before going over to Narrator, who is eyeing him cautiously) Swagman: G'day, mate! So what's all this about? Narrator: (Politely) Begging your pardon .. Swagman: (Interrupting) Ah! A Pom! Now how did I guess? Narrator: (Defensively) Something to do with me speaking the Queen's English? And as one of her loyal servants Swagman: (Interrupting) Don't tell me! You're gonna tell all these good folks about life ‘Down Under'? Well, allow me to help out a little. (Turning to Cast) What says you to us livening things up a little around here? (Whole cast nods enthusiastically, relaxing former ‘standing on ceremony' posture) (Swagman walks over to CD player and turns on ‘Down Under' - chorus, children singing and dancing, whilst Narrator looks on in horror) Music 2 - Down Under by Men at Work Narrator: (To Cast) Cut! (To Swagman, irately) Hey! Just what do you think you are doing? I'm in charge here! Swagman: No worries, mate! No need to chuck a wobbly! I was only trying to help. (Pointing to Cast) These guys and Sheilas just looked like they'd enjoy a little taste of the real Oz. Narrator: What? As delivered by a .. by a ... Swagman: Swagman, that's me! And here (taking off bag from his back) .. Meet Matilda!

Royal Wedding Assembly Harry and Meghan Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) A cast of 30. The content of this production focuses on Harry's ancestors and leaves one wondering if Meghan has been fully 'prepped' on the royal family - with all its highs (Alfred the Great?) and lows (toss-up between King John and Richard III maybe!). Maybe it’s just as well she isn't fully acquainted with her predecessors - or she might think twice about that walk down the aisle! Script comes with a complete listing of the English Monarchy Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on The Royal Wedding. Now, we all know what a busy time this is for the royal couple – especially for Meghan. With all that looking for the right dress, booking the hairdresser, finding the best flower lady …. My, has she got her work cut out! So, we thought - there’s no way this royal bride will find time to read up about the family she is marrying into. That’s why we took it on ourselves to do the hard work for her! Don’t you think she’ll be pleased? I mean, who knows what Harry might not have said about his ancestors? And don’t we all agree, a girl does have the right to know - certainly before she takes that long walk down the aisle? So, for those of you, along with Meghan, interested in the royal family, start listening now! You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn! This morning we’ll kick off with the present day royal family - the House of Windsor. Starting with Child 1: (Holding up picture of Harry) Harry! Narrator: Ah! The bridegroom himself! Let’s hear it! Child 2: Harry is the second son of (holds up picture) Charles, the Prince of Wales – now married to Camilla. Child 3: (Holding up picture) Harry’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, was tragically killed in a road accident in 1997. Child 4: (Holding up picture) Harry has an older brother, William. It was only a few years ago that Harry was best man at William’s wedding. William married Catherine Middleton 29th April 2011 at Westminster Abbey; whereas Harry and Meghan will be ‘tying the knot’ at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle in May 2018. Child 5: Harry and William have a rather important grandma – the Queen! Child 6: Queen Elizabeth the second is married to the Duke of Edinburgh and has four children Child 7: Prince Charles, Harry’s dad Child 8: Prince Andrew, the Duke of York Child 9: Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex Child 10: And a daughter, Princess Anne, the Princess Royal. Narrator: All fine representatives of the monarchy – but was it always thus? We looked at some examples of good and bad monarchs and drew our own conclusions! Starting with Child 11: Alfred the Great!

Burns Night Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes (depending on number of music suggestions included). The assembly could be further extended by the addition of some of the poems of Robbie Burns. Who would not want to come to this party? Well, if you're not keen on bagpipes, it could be a problem! But the guest list is pretty unbeatable - with the likes of St Andrew, William Wallace, Mary Queen of Scots, James VI, Robert the Bruce, Walter Scott plus fellow writers, Alexander Bell plus fellow scientists, John McAdam plus fellow engineers, some sportsmen, politicians (fraid so!), that oh so enthusiastic chef (no prizes for guessing what he's served up!), Nessie (of course!) and not forgetting - that guy with the bagpipes .... oh and Robbie Burns!! This script comes with some seriously bad jokes – would definitely get the thumbs down from that other Mr Burns of Simpsons fame! Sample Text (Enter bagpipes player, with loud bagpipe accompaniment) (Everyone groans and cover their ears) Narrator: Stop! Please! I think I’m going mad! Bagpipes player: Och! You need to chill out a little, man! (Takes out bottle of whisky from inside kilt) Here! Have some of this fine Scottish whisky! Nothing quite like it for lessening the old stress levels! Narrator: (Taking the bottle and having a sip) Well as long as it means your volume levels take a corresponding dip! Bagpipes player: Oh to be sure! If that’s what keeps you happy! (Enter Scottish chef carrying tray of haggis) Scottish chef: And here’s something else to warm your inners! (Narrator takes a bite followed by a coughing fit) Narrator: What on earth was that? Scottish chef: Oh! Just a bit of sausage I cooked up! Narrator: Er, something tells me you’re holding back a bit on the description there? Scottish chef: Oh, didn’t I mention? It’s the inner organs of a sheep … cooked in the stomach of a sheep! (Narrator has explosive coughing fit) Scottish chef: Oh, and if you want to know what those organs are, they’re the liver, heart and lungs. Plus a little seasoning! Delicious, eh? (Narrator continues to ‘gag’) Bagpipes player: (To chef) Er, far be it from me to interrupt but I think we’ve had enough description! Scottish chef: Oh very well! (Placing tray on a chair) I’ll leave it here for you all to enjoy. (Whole cast pull faces) (Testily) This is meant to be a Burns celebration, you know! Other Scottish scripts available from Sue Russell. Please note: there is some duplication of content and characters in this script and the St. Andrews Assembly/Class Play.

Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

Awe and Wonder Assembly This KS II class play is on awe and wonder – and there’s plenty of that about in the awesome world of nature! Scoring a ‘WOW!’ proves a bit of a challenge for this particular set of children – it seems to take a lot to impress the ‘awe-full-not’ teacher who is taking the assembly! Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration - around 15 minutes not including music suggestions This script is the first in a series of Awe and Wonder Assemblies – the second one being on Man Made Wonders – loosely based on the Seven Wonders of the World but probably with a lot more thrown in! There will be ‘parallel’ simpler scripts for Key Stage I children on this theme. Sample Text Narrator: So. Let us make sure this assembly is (pauses) awesome! What have you got for me? Child 12: Well, we thought we’d start with all the most awesome places in the world. Child 13: Aside from our school, of course! Narrator: (Smiling) Of course! Child 14: So, what about (Each child in turn holds up a picture of the place they are describing) Child 14: This great lump of rock! Narrator: Great lump of rock? What’s so awesome about that? Child 14: (Indignantly, to Child 10) What were you saying about adults? This lump of rock just happens to be Uluru – otherwise known as Ayer’s Rock, in Australia. Narrator: Well, it does have a pretty amazing colour. Child 14: Red sandstone! Formed six hundred million years ago! Narrator: Wow! (Whole cast cheers) Child 10: Wow! We got a wow! Narrator: Well, I’m not that hard to impress! Child 14: Difficult not to be impressed by the world’s biggest monolith – that’s a single rock, by the way! Narrator: Yes, yes. I knew that! Child 14: And that it’s some nine kilometres in circumference? Narrator: Hmm. Of course! I am a teacher, you know! Child 15: Well. What about this. The Grand Canyon! Narrator: More rocks? Child 15: (Indignantly) Yes but these rocks form one of the deepest gorges on Earth!

Seven Wonders of the Ancient World Assembly 1. Great Pyramid of Giza 2. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus 3. Temple of Artemis 4. Statue of Zeus at Olympia 5. Colossus of Rhodes 6. Lighthouse of Alexandria 7. Hanging Gardens of Babylon Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions) This Key Stage II Class play follows on from two other assemblies (KSI & II) on the Wonders of the Natural World - under the title of Awe and Wonder and found in the PSHE section of the website. I, Sue Russell, decided to limit the Wonders of the 'Man-Made' World to the Seven Wonders of the Classical World as, had I based a script on modern-day wonders, the list would have been endless. I am happy to write a script based on modern day wonders but will wait on a teacher making such a request - with a list I can work from! Otherwise making an arbitrary choice of wonders is an impossible task! Sample Text Narrator: (Cowering) Oh, Oh! Not another unhappy god! Helios, god of the sun, am I right? Helios: Yes, and my statue was known as the Colossus of Rhodes, built 280B.C. in the city of Rhodes, on that same Greek island, by one Charles of Lindos; and destroyed 226 B.C. Narrator: Ah but you were so impressive – all 108 feet of you! That’s about the same as the Statue of Liberty! Certainly the tallest statue of the ancient world! Helios: And that’s meant to make me feel better? Narrator: Well, there was nothing anyone could have done to save you. As I think I remember hearing before, that’s earthquakes for you! But here, let us take a look at you, Helios, god of the sun, in your prime – or rather, that of your statue! (Narrator holds up picture of Colossus of Rhodes) Narrator: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes! (Helios bows and exits) Narrator: (Consulting notes) Five down, two to go! Heckler: (Yawning) How many did you say? Narrator: Don’t tell me you haven’t been counting? Or is anything over five a bit of a struggle for you? Heckler: Ooh! That’s not nice! And just to show you I am actually interested in the past, I’ll give this next one my undivided attention! Narrator: Fine! (To audience) Let’s hope it’s a good one! (Enter Pharaoh Ptolemy II) Music 7 Carl Orff – O Fortuna – Carmina Burana Ptolemy II: Ah so you are here to admire the Lighthouse of Alexandria! Behold!

Olympic History Class Play (one of collection of 10 scripts) This assembly, written by Sue Russell, covers the history of the Olympics, starting with its origins in Ancient Greece. All the host nations are presented in a fun coverage of both events and stars. Featuring the 18 countries that have so far hosted the Olympic Games, plus Brazil (2016 host), each gives a brief summary of their 'contribution' to the Games' history so far. Sample Text: 1. Simply the Best - Tina Turner (Children file in, waving flags triumphantly) Coubertin: Good morning and welcome to our class play on The History of the Olympics - when nations compete against each other, in the most sporting manner. (19 nations stand up with flags, cheering loudly) (Zeus plus 3 Ancient Greeks stride onto stage, folding their arms in front of them, taking up an aggressive stance) Coubertin: ‘Course, it wasn't always like that. Back in 776 BC it was only athletes from across Ancient Greece who competed. Zeus: In my honor! Sostratos: 5 days Leonidas: 7 events Kallipateira: (Scowling) And no women! Coubertin: Ah! The good old days! When men were men, and women were women! Kallipateira: I thought you were here to represent the Modern Olympics? Coubertin: Indeed I am. And you're about to see just how many changes took place over the years Zeus: Not necessarily for the better! (Looking around) I can't see any of this lot paying me homage! And what are those women doing, mingling with the men athletes? Coubertin: (In disgust) They're competing too! Other scripts available: 1. Brazil - Host Country to 2016 Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 6. Olympics Assembly for Key Stage 1 Rio 2016 7. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers! plus OLYMPIC ODE