Australian Assembly In celebration of Australia Day - joint narration by Pom and Swagman - an interesting mix of language and culture! tapping into this great country's history, geography and culture. Cast Size 24 but easily adjustable up or down (information can be split up between several more children taking cast size to 30) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time – this does not include music suggestions and ‘song performances’ Following is a review from publisher contact: A short play giving a lot of information about the land down under: some history, some wildlife, some music and some facts and figures to round it all out. This is another well-presented assembly from Sue Russell. There is the usual large cast size to accommodate a class group, with the many, small parts offset by having the two main characters who are onstage for the majority of the production. There are regular musical interludes to add interest, and any passages that contain recitation of facts, figures or histories are balanced by changing the speakers or having the characters react – I particularly liked the Swagman complaining there was too much dry information. To conclude: a bright, fast overview of a big, big country and a good introduction to a school topic. Sample Text Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Australia. (Swagman strolls nonchalantly onto stage, looking around and ‘sizing' everyone up, before going over to Narrator, who is eyeing him cautiously) Swagman: G'day, mate! So what's all this about? Narrator: (Politely) Begging your pardon .. Swagman: (Interrupting) Ah! A Pom! Now how did I guess? Narrator: (Defensively) Something to do with me speaking the Queen's English? And as one of her loyal servants Swagman: (Interrupting) Don't tell me! You're gonna tell all these good folks about life ‘Down Under'? Well, allow me to help out a little. (Turning to Cast) What says you to us livening things up a little around here? (Whole cast nods enthusiastically, relaxing former ‘standing on ceremony' posture) (Swagman walks over to CD player and turns on ‘Down Under' - chorus, children singing and dancing, whilst Narrator looks on in horror) Music 2 - Down Under by Men at Work Narrator: (To Cast) Cut! (To Swagman, irately) Hey! Just what do you think you are doing? I'm in charge here! Swagman: No worries, mate! No need to chuck a wobbly! I was only trying to help. (Pointing to Cast) These guys and Sheilas just looked like they'd enjoy a little taste of the real Oz. Narrator: What? As delivered by a .. by a ... Swagman: Swagman, that's me! And here (taking off bag from his back) .. Meet Matilda!

Burns Night Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes (depending on number of music suggestions included). The assembly could be further extended by the addition of some of the poems of Robbie Burns. Who would not want to come to this party? Well, if you're not keen on bagpipes, it could be a problem! But the guest list is pretty unbeatable - with the likes of St Andrew, William Wallace, Mary Queen of Scots, James VI, Robert the Bruce, Walter Scott plus fellow writers, Alexander Bell plus fellow scientists, John McAdam plus fellow engineers, some sportsmen, politicians (fraid so!), that oh so enthusiastic chef (no prizes for guessing what he's served up!), Nessie (of course!) and not forgetting - that guy with the bagpipes .... oh and Robbie Burns!! This script comes with some seriously bad jokes – would definitely get the thumbs down from that other Mr Burns of Simpsons fame! Sample Text (Enter bagpipes player, with loud bagpipe accompaniment) (Everyone groans and cover their ears) Narrator: Stop! Please! I think I’m going mad! Bagpipes player: Och! You need to chill out a little, man! (Takes out bottle of whisky from inside kilt) Here! Have some of this fine Scottish whisky! Nothing quite like it for lessening the old stress levels! Narrator: (Taking the bottle and having a sip) Well as long as it means your volume levels take a corresponding dip! Bagpipes player: Oh to be sure! If that’s what keeps you happy! (Enter Scottish chef carrying tray of haggis) Scottish chef: And here’s something else to warm your inners! (Narrator takes a bite followed by a coughing fit) Narrator: What on earth was that? Scottish chef: Oh! Just a bit of sausage I cooked up! Narrator: Er, something tells me you’re holding back a bit on the description there? Scottish chef: Oh, didn’t I mention? It’s the inner organs of a sheep … cooked in the stomach of a sheep! (Narrator has explosive coughing fit) Scottish chef: Oh, and if you want to know what those organs are, they’re the liver, heart and lungs. Plus a little seasoning! Delicious, eh? (Narrator continues to ‘gag’) Bagpipes player: (To chef) Er, far be it from me to interrupt but I think we’ve had enough description! Scottish chef: Oh very well! (Placing tray on a chair) I’ll leave it here for you all to enjoy. (Whole cast pull faces) (Testily) This is meant to be a Burns celebration, you know! Other Scottish scripts available from Sue Russell. Please note: there is some duplication of content and characters in this script and the St. Andrews Assembly/Class Play.

Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

Awe and Wonder Assembly This KS II class play is on awe and wonder – and there’s plenty of that about in the awesome world of nature! Scoring a ‘WOW!’ proves a bit of a challenge for this particular set of children – it seems to take a lot to impress the ‘awe-full-not’ teacher who is taking the assembly! Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration - around 15 minutes not including music suggestions This script is the first in a series of Awe and Wonder Assemblies – the second one being on Man Made Wonders – loosely based on the Seven Wonders of the World but probably with a lot more thrown in! There will be ‘parallel’ simpler scripts for Key Stage I children on this theme. Sample Text Narrator: So. Let us make sure this assembly is (pauses) awesome! What have you got for me? Child 12: Well, we thought we’d start with all the most awesome places in the world. Child 13: Aside from our school, of course! Narrator: (Smiling) Of course! Child 14: So, what about (Each child in turn holds up a picture of the place they are describing) Child 14: This great lump of rock! Narrator: Great lump of rock? What’s so awesome about that? Child 14: (Indignantly, to Child 10) What were you saying about adults? This lump of rock just happens to be Uluru – otherwise known as Ayer’s Rock, in Australia. Narrator: Well, it does have a pretty amazing colour. Child 14: Red sandstone! Formed six hundred million years ago! Narrator: Wow! (Whole cast cheers) Child 10: Wow! We got a wow! Narrator: Well, I’m not that hard to impress! Child 14: Difficult not to be impressed by the world’s biggest monolith – that’s a single rock, by the way! Narrator: Yes, yes. I knew that! Child 14: And that it’s some nine kilometres in circumference? Narrator: Hmm. Of course! I am a teacher, you know! Child 15: Well. What about this. The Grand Canyon! Narrator: More rocks? Child 15: (Indignantly) Yes but these rocks form one of the deepest gorges on Earth!

Seven Wonders of the Ancient World Assembly 1. Great Pyramid of Giza 2. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus 3. Temple of Artemis 4. Statue of Zeus at Olympia 5. Colossus of Rhodes 6. Lighthouse of Alexandria 7. Hanging Gardens of Babylon Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions) This Key Stage II Class play follows on from two other assemblies (KSI & II) on the Wonders of the Natural World - under the title of Awe and Wonder and found in the PSHE section of the website. I, Sue Russell, decided to limit the Wonders of the 'Man-Made' World to the Seven Wonders of the Classical World as, had I based a script on modern-day wonders, the list would have been endless. I am happy to write a script based on modern day wonders but will wait on a teacher making such a request - with a list I can work from! Otherwise making an arbitrary choice of wonders is an impossible task! Sample Text Narrator: (Cowering) Oh, Oh! Not another unhappy god! Helios, god of the sun, am I right? Helios: Yes, and my statue was known as the Colossus of Rhodes, built 280B.C. in the city of Rhodes, on that same Greek island, by one Charles of Lindos; and destroyed 226 B.C. Narrator: Ah but you were so impressive – all 108 feet of you! That’s about the same as the Statue of Liberty! Certainly the tallest statue of the ancient world! Helios: And that’s meant to make me feel better? Narrator: Well, there was nothing anyone could have done to save you. As I think I remember hearing before, that’s earthquakes for you! But here, let us take a look at you, Helios, god of the sun, in your prime – or rather, that of your statue! (Narrator holds up picture of Colossus of Rhodes) Narrator: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes! (Helios bows and exits) Narrator: (Consulting notes) Five down, two to go! Heckler: (Yawning) How many did you say? Narrator: Don’t tell me you haven’t been counting? Or is anything over five a bit of a struggle for you? Heckler: Ooh! That’s not nice! And just to show you I am actually interested in the past, I’ll give this next one my undivided attention! Narrator: Fine! (To audience) Let’s hope it’s a good one! (Enter Pharaoh Ptolemy II) Music 7 Carl Orff – O Fortuna – Carmina Burana Ptolemy II: Ah so you are here to admire the Lighthouse of Alexandria! Behold!

Chocolate Assembly (Also available in Key Stage I version) Cast of 30 though easily adaptable up or down. Duration around 15 - 20 minutes. This script on Chocolate covers all subjects of the curriculum i.e. it's a class theme. And how can it not be a popular one when there are so many of everyone's favourite indulgence in it - CHOCOLATES! While covering a few of these (make that 32 - and that doesn't cover the box contents!) there is ample coverage of chocolate's 2,000 year old history - way back to the ancient Mayan culture, .. and not forgetting the amazing Mr Cadbury of course! As chocolate is 'the class theme' there are cross curricular links - covering all primary school subjects - this great challenge rewarded by a generous dose of .... you've guessed! Chocolate! I'm guessing of all my assemblies this one will go down best with both cast and audience! Don't miss out! Sample Text: Child 2: (To Head) And I believe you have a box or two, hidden away, for your staff? (Head turns to Music Teacher) Head: Oops! It seems our secret is out! Child 2: No secret! We only had to look at all the weight our teachers were putting on! (Head reluctantly hands box of Roses chocolates to Child 2) Child 2: Thank you! Ah! (Rubbing tummy) That’s better! Head: (Grunting) Don’t tell me! This is the P.S.H.E. part! Child 2: Correct! Whole cast: (Rubbing tummies) Chocolate makes you feel so good! Child 3: And then there are all those lovely colours, flavours and pretty wrappers. Take this box of Cadburys Roses for example. (Each child holds up the sweet they are naming) Child 4: Strawberry Dream! Child 5: Golden Barrel! Child 6: Tangy Orange Crème! Child 7: Brazilian Darkness! (Child 8 walks over and takes a box of Milk Tray from protesting Head; the opened box is then offered to Child 9 - 12 in turn, calling out names as they take them)

Battle of Hastings Assembly or Class Play This script was written by Sue Russell in celebration of The Battle of Hastings' 950th anniversary. What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music) Sample Text: Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out! Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this! Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work? (Enter Edward) Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh! Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are? Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m (Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4) Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying! Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much! Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things! (Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1) Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking! (Edward falls about laughing at his own joke) (Whole cast groans) Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!

Ancient Greeks Theseus and the Minotaur Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading (this does not include music suggestions) Monsters and heroes - not the easiest cast to deal with! But then Poseidon is more than man - sorry, make that - god enough to take this lot on! Also available (as separate purchase): This assembly plus Guided Reading Script plus Quiz (one of large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell) Sample Text: Music 1 – El Matador Music (Cast file into hall, in order of speaking, taking seats along two rows of fifteen facing the audience) Poseidon: Welcome to this tale about (Enter Theseus) Music 2 Holding Out for a Hero – Bonnie Tyler (chorus) (Theseus strides up and down, bracing his muscles and striking various ‘heroic postures’) Theseus: A hero! That’s me, Theseus! (Theseus gestures to cast to cheer) (Whole cast cheers) Poseidon: And (Enter Minotaur) Music 3 Deeper Underground – Jamiroquai (chorus) (Minotaur ‘skulks’ up and down, glaring at both cast and audience) Minotaur: Me! The Minotaur! (Minotaur ‘paws the ground’, snorts in anger and glares at cast who all boo) Poseidon: Hmm. Quite a split! In fact Theseus: (Interrupting) You could say, Good versus Evil! Poseidon: (Glaring at Theseus) I could! But I’m not going to, if it’s all the same to you! (To audience, aside) These heroes! Think they’re God’s Gift! Theseus: Well, you may not have regarded me as a gift (pauses) Dad! (Pauses) But my other father did! (Enter Aegeus) Aegeus: Ah Theseus, my son! There you are! (To audience) I hope you haven’t been listening too much to this god, here (pointing at Poseidon). Gods! Way too much time on their hands and far too many off spring to show for it! Poseidon: What was that? Aegeus: Oh nothing, Poseidon! Just commenting on how creatively you fill your time. Truly awesome! Poseidon: Well, as God of the Seas I guess I am rather (pauses) what did you say? Oh, awesome, that’s right! A shame not everyone was in such awe of me as you! (Enter Minos) (Whole cast hisses and boos) Minos: (Angrily) Hey! That’s no way to greet the King of Crete! Aegeus: (Contemptuously) Pah! Some king you were! Minos: (Laughing) Huh! And you were any better, oh great King of Athens? (Pauses) Now, just remind me. Who had to send human sacrifices to who? Aegeus: (Exclaiming) Why, you evil, wicked, cruel, vindictive .. Poseidon: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. I think we get it. You two didn’t like each other much, did you? Aegeus: Oh I’ve barely started.

Dinosaurs Rock Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered which dinosaur was the *biggest, the smallest, the most heavily armoured, the brightest, the fastest, the deadliest, the weirdest ..... Read on and find out! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes not including music Also available, set of guided reading dinosaur scripts Sample Text Music 2 - We Will Rock You - Queen (Enter Seismosaurus, Mamenchisaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Carcharodontosaurus) (Everyone shaking in seats) Narrator: What's happening? Is it an earthquake? Seismosaurus: Sorry! That would be me! I'll try not to move - all 120 feet of me! They don't call me ‘earth-shaking lizard' for nothing! Mamenchisaurus: But when you've got necks as long as us, you really don't need to move that far! My neck alone was 46 feet long! Gigantosaurus: And I, Gigantosaurus, was the daddy of the meat-eaters! All 8,000 kilograms of me! Carcharondontaurus: And I sure had a mean pair of ‘choppers' - no prizes for guessing where my name ‘shark-tooth lizard' came from! Spinosaurus: Well, take a look at my jaws! I, Spinosaurus, was called spiny lizard because of these spines on my back, but nobody was going to argue with these (snapping crocodile-like jaws, open and shut) For optional poetry addition see The Dinosaurs That Time Forgot by David Harmer and Paul Cookson. Writer, Sue Russell, has included information from recent discovery of 'the largest' as per Telegraph article "Giant of giants rises from the desert" May 18 2014

Environment Assembly - what can we do to help? Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down. Narrator plus 29 protestors! And who would have thought our narrator would find himself ... a protestor? Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions). The length of the script can of course be easily extended by adding on more information about man's negative impact on the environment and what we can do to reduce our carbon footprints. Sample text: Protestor 28: We can all do something Protestor 29: Even if it’s just in our own back yard. Narrator: (Applauding) Ah! Now you’re making sense! You see, sometimes I think we look at the big picture Protestor 1: (Interrupting) And feel overwhelmed? Narrator: Exactly! I mean, we all know about global warming, the greenhouse effect, the destruction of rainforests. And I for one think, well, what can I do about it? Protestor 1: And the good news is Whole cast: (Shouting together) Plenty! Narrator: Oh really? Well, you know something? I’m feeling better already! Protestor 2: So, here’s what we can do to help and sustain our world. Narrator: Hold on! Could you just explain what you mean by that last bit? Protestor 2: What? You mean the bit about sustaining our world? Narrator: Yes. If you would, please. Protestor 3: OK. So what we mean by sustaining life on this planet is looking after it in a way or ways which will last. We’re not looking for quick fix solutions which won’t last. Narrator: Excellent. And by ‘life’ Protestor 4: We don’t just mean that of us human beings Protestor 5: But the life of plants Protestor 6: Wildlife Protestor 7: Ecosystems Protestor 8: And habitats Narrator: You mean like the rainforests, the poles, the deserts, the oceans Protestor 9: Well, yes. But there are places far nearer to home that we can make a difference to now. Narrator: (Wiping his brow) Phew! I am so relieved you said that. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again! Protestor 10: Let’s keep this simple! Narrator: Oh please! That would be a great comfort to me! Protestor 11: So, what can we do in our own back yard? Protestor 12: Clear it up? (Everyone laughs) Protestor 11: You’re right! That’s a good place to start. We all have way too much rubbish! Narrator: So how can we stop that? Protestor 12: How about we start with recycling? Narrator: You mean cycling … in reverse? (Everyone groans) Protestor 12: How about you leave the jokes to us! Though, recycling is no laughing matter. We should all be doing it.

International Children's Book Day Assembly or Class Play This script was written in celebration of International Children's Book Day April 2nd 2017 including characters from Horrid Henry, Peter Pan, The Gruffalo, Charlotte's Web, Captain Underpants, Matilda, The Tales of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. NB This is the same script as World Book Day Assembly but adapted to International Children's Book Day. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration: Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions Sample Text: Narrator: Thank you! Of course there is so much to celebrate in the world of literature! All those wonderful inspirational characters! (Enter Horrid Henry, scowling) Horrid Henry: Dah! I suppose you’ve got a whole line up of squeaky clean characters for us today? Just got one word to say to that – BORING! Narrator: And you are? (Pauses) Oh, don’t tell me – Horrid Henry! (Aside to Audience) A shame he had to start us off today! Definitely not one of our more likeable characters! (To Henry) Now, if you don’t mind, I do have a lot of other, shall we say ‘more wholesome characters’ to introduce! Horrid Henry: (Scowling) Please yourself! (Exit Horrid Henry, giving exaggerated ‘yawns’) Narrator: (To Audience) Oh dear! Sorry about that! Let’s see if we can ‘raise the bar’ a little! (Peter Pan ‘flies’ onto the stage) Narrator: Ah! Peter Pan! How nice to meet you! Peter Pan: The pleasure is all mine! (Enter Wendy and Tinkerbell) Peter Pan: I’d like you to meet Wendy: (Curtseying) Wendy (looking at Peter Pan adoringly) Darling! Tinkerbell: (Trying to ‘swoosh’ Wendy out of the way) And Peter’s favourite, Tinkerbell! Peter Pan: (Laughing) Now, now Tinkerbell! We have spoken about that jealousy thing! (Tinkerbell pulls a face, sulking) Wendy: Oh but she’s so adorable! You can’t be cross with her for long! (Enter Horrid Henry) Horrid Henry: What was I saying about those yukky sugary-sweet characters? Time to introduce some more interesting ones! (Horrid Henry beckons to Captain Cook and Crocodile) (Enter Captain Cook and Crocodile, snapping at Narrator’s heels) Narrator: (Angrily) Who let this beast on here? (Glaring at Horrid Henry) Oh I might have known you’d be up to no good!

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Christmas Play Cast of 30 (with some doubling up) Duration: around 30 minutes (without music suggestions) This is a fun, simple to produce a class play or assembly - it can also be used for panto purposes. After writing the set of guided reading scripts based on the story, I couldn't resist writing another play whilst the story and characters were still fresh in my head! Though Dorothy is not quite as 'wholesome' as in the original story and the Wizard of Oz is a little more 'versatile' in this version! Also available: • The Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10 of these, with 6 speakers each; around 3 minutes each – total reading time around 30 minutes) • The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Play – the non-Xmas version! Sample Text: (Toto reluctantly wags tail at Dorothy) Dorothy: (Patting Toto on the head) That’s better! An obedient pooch! Now we can get the show on the road! Toto: But, just as a matter of interest, what happened to that other Dorothy – the one I rehearsed with? Dorothy: (Dismissively) Oh didn’t you hear? She got caught up in one too many cyclones! Nasty business if you don’t get it right! (Sound of howling wind, followed by long scream) Music 2 Ding Dong the Witch is Dead Narrator: Good heavens! What on earth was that? (Enter Good Witch of the North, with great panache and thunderous applause from the cast, carrying a pair of silver shoes. She is accompanied by three Munchkins) Good Witch: (Curtseying to the cast) Ah thank you so much! (Cast continues to clap and cheer) Good Witch: Oh now, really. You’re too kind! Dorothy: (Scowling) I’ll say! How come I didn’t get that kind of reception? Good Witch: Oh dear! What’s with the scowly face? That’s not very pretty, dear! Toto: (To Good Witch) I think she’s a bit put out – that you seem to have stolen the show! Good Witch: (Incredulously) Stolen the show? Me? The Good Witch of the North? With all my panache and presence? Oh, surely not? (Good Witch twirls and beams broadly from ear to ear) Good Witch: (To Dorothy) I bet you too have loads of superstar qualities! (Pauses) Only, you’re just keeping them rather well hidden! Dorothy: Huh! I’ll have you know, some of us have business to attend to! Good Witch: Well, I have to hand it to you. Killing the Wicked Witch of the East was pretty smart! Toto: (Exclaiming) She what? Good Witch: (Waving silver shoes around) Oh yes! And here’s the evidence! Bit of inspiration, my dear, landing that house directly on top of the witch! Here are her shoes, all that’s left of her!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach

Robin Hood Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 15 minutes reading time. This does not include *music suggestions/dance routines which could potentially double the length of the performance. So, are those Merry Men about to have their smiles turned upside down? Never! Not even in the face of those brutish Guards? Double never! Not when you've got some neat tricks/moves up the sleeves of your tunic! See how good triumphs over evil without any blood being shed - it is a family show! *Sample Playlist • Bad – Michael Jackson • I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas • Happy – Pharrell Williams Sample Text Narrator: Hey! You might think you’re a hero! Peasant 1: But you haven’t done anything yet! Narrator: Right! All that dancing and prancing! Peasant 2: You need to demonstrate to us that you’re a hero! Narrator: No more theatrics! Peasant 3: Prove yourself! Narrator: Stop all this lovey dovey stuff – that can wait til later! Peasant 4: It’s our futures you need to change! Peasant 5: Show us you’re the man you say you are! Peasant 6: Take on those baddies! Peasant 7: Be our hero! Robin Hood: Hey! Steady on! I may be pretty good with this bow and arrow Maid Marion: (Sighing) The best, or so I’ve heard! Robin Hood: But taking on the whole of Prince John’s crowd? Whoa! That’s a tall order! (Enter Little John, squaring up to his great height) Little John: Well, I, Little John, am more than up to the challenge! (Enter rest of Merry Men) Friar Tuck: And you can count me, Friar Tuck, in! Alan-a-Dale: And me, Alan-a-Dale! Will Scarlet: And me, Will Scarlet! Much the Miller’s Son: And me, Much the Miller’s Son! Narrator: (Clutching head) Oh wow! That’s some fighting force you have there, Robin! An overweight man of the church, a minstrel, an ex-soldier and a miller’s son! Peasant 1: (Sarcastically) Wonderful! Peasant 2: More than enough to take on Prince John’s men! Peasant 3: They won’t know what’s hit them! Peasant 4: The friar’s belly Peasant 5: The minstrel’s lute Peasant 6: The ex-soldier’s rusting sword Peasant 7: Or the miller’s son’s bag of flour! Peasant 1: Some army! Come on, folks. Let’s leave this lot to their fantasies! (Exit Peasants, muttering sadly) (Enter Prince John, Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisborne plus Guards) Sir Guy of Gisborne: (To Robin Hood) Aha! The villain himself! Seize him, guards! (Guards seize Robin Hood) Maid Marion: Why you cowards! Seven against one! I’d hardly say that was fair! Sheriff of Nottingham: (Laughing) But hadn’t you heard, sweet lady? Nothing is fair around here!

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Love Is .... Assembly This class play on Love looks at what love means to each of us. Although it was written for Key Stage I (5 – 7 year olds) it can easily be adapted for use at Key Stage II (7 – 11 year olds) - the playlist of 10 suggested songs will be enjoyed by all ages. For scripts specific to Valentine’s Day, check out Sue Russell’s alternative Romeo and Juliet scripts. Cast of 25 - easily adapted up or down. Duration - around 15 - 20 mins (potential of doubling this with all music choices) Sample Text: (Enter Child 10, carrying a puppy) Music 7 Puppy Love – Donny Osmond Narrator: Ahh! (Gestures for everyone else to go ‘Ahhh!’) Who can resist a puppy? (Exit Child 10 plus puppy) (Enter Child 11, skipping) Narrator: Wow! Great skipping! You obviously love it! Child 11: And it’s good for me! (Exit Child 11, smiling happily) Narrator: Yes, any form of exercise is good for you! (Enter Child 12) Music 8 Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake (Whole cast singing and dancing) Narrator: And why do you love dancing so much? Child 12: How can you not love dancing? (Exit Child 12 smiling) Narrator: (Trying a few moves) Well, it is good exercise! (Enter Child 13, eating large bar of chocolate) Music 9 Sugar Sugar - The Archies Narrator: Hmm. I’m not sure this is quite so good for you! Child 13: Oh, but I just love chocolate! Who doesn’t? (Exit Child 13) Narrator: (Rubbing tummy) Mmmm. Beginning to feel a bit hungry! (Enter Child 14, reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’)

Islam Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - around 10 minutes reading time, not including music at beginning and end This assembly on the Islamic faith tells the story of Muhammed and gives a brief outline of Islamic beliefs. It is delivered by a Narrator plus speakers numbered 1 - 29. This script would be a useful supplement to the Baghdad: Early Islamic Civilisation script - as a description of Islam as a religion - with accompanying message of peace and respect for all learning. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Islam. Let’s start with what Islam means. Child 1: Islam is the Arabic word for submission. Narrator: I’m guessing, submission to a god? Child 2: One god – Allah! Narrator: And the origins of this religion? Child 3: The religion started AD 610 when Muhammed heard the word of God through the Arch Angel Gabriel. Narrator: And where was this? (Child 3 holds up map of the world) Child 4: (Pointing to Saudi Arabia) Here, in Saudi Arabia, in the city of Mecca. Narrator: And this Muhammed – tell us a bit about him. Child 5: He was born AD 570, at Mecca. Child 6: His family were very poor and he was orphaned at an early age. Child 7: However, he became rich as a caravan leader Narrator: (Looking puzzled) Why would you need to lead a caravan? Don’t you just pull them behind your car? Child 8: No, not that kind of caravan. These were camels, led across the trade routes, carrying goods to be sold at market. Narrator: Aha! Camel caravans! Now I get you! Back to Muhammed! Also available from Sue Russell: An assembly on the Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation & Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation Guided Reading Scripts: 5 scripts, 6 speakers each, plus quiz for each script. Approximately 5 minutes reading time for each (not including the quiz) 1. When? 2. Where? 3. The Story of Muhammed 4. Beliefs of Islam 5. World Religions

Anglo-Saxon School Assembly or Class Play Cast Size - 30 - easily adapted up or down. Approximate duration: Around 15 to 20 minutes. Ever wondered about the origins of your birth place? Why is it something-ton and not something-ham? Or why archaeologists get so excited over some old clay pots …or nails? Also available set of 5 guided reading play scripts plus quizzes - Introduction, Anglo-Saxon Life, Sutton Hoo Discovery, Beowulf, and Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table SAMPLE TEXT Arch 1: Look at this! Phosphate remains. That means there must have been a body here when the ship was buried…so this was actually a grave! Arch 2: And with all this treasure we’ve found, the person buried here must have been important! 4. GHOSTBUSTERS THEME MUSIC (Ghosthunters team rush on, searching for ghost) Narrator: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Who called you lot? Ghosthunter 1: Haven’t you heard? There’s a ghost on the loose! Goes by the name of Raewald, King of East Anglia. Died about 625 AD but forgot to take his Kwells (holds up packet of sea sickness tablets) before being buried with his ship. Ghosthunter 2: Yes, it’s all very fine having all this gold and silver …but not much good to you if you’re prone to a bit of the ol’ sea sickness. Ghosthunter 3: We’re here to give him his tablets so he can at last …Rest In Peace. Narrator: Could I suggest you’d stand a better chance of catching this sea-sick ghost if you were a little quieter (beckoning them all off stage). Wait here! TEACHING ‘COVERAGE’ Unit 6B Anglo-Saxon Assembly (i) Where Anglo-Saxons came from (ii) Timeline: 410 AD – 1066 (iii) Alfred the Great (iv) Runic’ alphabet (v) Origins of our days of the week (vi) Place names – Anglo Saxon origins (vii) Living conditions (viii) Sutton Hoo: archaeological finds and background

The Twelve Labours of Hercules Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down; Duration around 15 minutes not including music suggestions - this could double the length of the assembly or class play. Every teacher's dream come true - an Ancient Greek superhero calling in to reignite the class's interest in a subject they have been doing all term! Hercules does so well ... until the arrival of that wicked king Eurystheus; but it doesn't take long before the latter realises his mistake in taking on this class - and it is truly heartening for all teachers everywhere to hear such respect from Hercules for their magnificent efforts! Enjoy The Twelve Labours of Hercules in fun, entertaining style - if it works for this set of children, it will definitely work for yours! Hercules features in two other scripts written by Sue Russell: 1. Superheroes Assembly for KSII – where Hercules has the dubious pleasure of converting a class of very un-super heroes … into super heroes! 2. Twelve New Labours of Hercules – in which the tables are turned on Hercules as he is the student on a self-improvement programme – this one with its focus on PSHE (i.e. ‘admirable’ character qualities!) Sample Text: Eurystheus: (To Narrator) Now. How many labours have we done? Narrator: Just three! (Loud groan from cast) Child 20: What? Nine more to go? Child 21: You have to be kidding? Child 22: This had better be good! Eurystheus: (Peevishly) What is it with these kids? A case of short attention span or what? (Cast all cross arms angrily, in defiant posture) Narrator: I’d be careful what you say, if I were you! This lot are easily upset and you might just find yourself in a bit of a spot! Eurystheus: (Laughing) Are you suggesting I should be worried by a load of kids? Oh don’t make me laugh! (To cast) Now. About this fourth labour. (Whole cast yawns loudly) Hercules’ task was to capture the Erymanthian Boar. Child 23: Did someone say ‘bore’? Child 24: As in, bore us to death’ Child 24: I think we can safely say, he already has! (Whole cast nod) Eurystheus: Now wait a minute! (Eurystheus walks over to the props box and tries to find ‘Boar’) Eurystheus: (Muttering) it must be in here somewhere! (Child 25, who had, unseen by Eurystheus, crept over to the props box and taken the Boar, pounces out at him, making him leap in the air and scream with terror; Hercules falls about laughing, as does the rest of the cast)

World Cup 2018 Leavers’ Assembly Duration: around 15 minutes. Cast size suitable for one class - or year group of two or three classes. Who would have thought Mr. Head would have so much trouble in this Leavers' Assembly - disciplining his own staff?! There's Mr. Place - a geography teacher with an unfortunate temper; there's Mrs Sums - with an unfortunate obsession with numbers; there's Mrs Write - with her unfortunate outspokenness ... are you spotting a pattern here? And as for Mr. Force from the science department ... well, let's just say he might have pushed his luck just that little bit too far on this occasion! Anyway, hat's off to Mr. Head as he struggles on. After all, football is just a game, isn't it?! Sample Text Mr. Head: Ah! Mrs Write, our Literacy expert! Mrs Write: (Enunciating every word slowly and perfectly) Good morning, Mr. Head. Good Morning, children! Students: Good morning, Mrs Write! Mrs Write: Before we go any further, I do feel it is important that our children can tell the difference between fact and fantasy! Mr. Head: Er, don't you mean facts and opinions? Mrs Write: (Impatiently) Just so! Though some of my students seem to be indulging in some very worrying fantasies at the moment. Student 1: But you're always telling us to use our imaginations, Miss! Mrs Write: ‘Tis true. But we also need to keep a certain hold on reality. And, to put it bluntly .... (pausing) Mr. Head: (Impatiently) Yes, Mrs Write. We haven't got all day! Mrs Write: Well, as long as you can assure me that I won't upset anyone in speaking my mind? Mr. Head: It's never stopped you in the past! Mrs Write: (Cagily) Well, it's about England's chances of winning the World Cup! Mr. Head: Ah! (Pauses) Now I see where you're coming from. Could I suggest you proceed with extreme caution? With extreme tact, even? Mrs Write: Oh don't you worry! You're looking at somebody who can not only write to the highest standard but is also always right in everything she says .. Mr. Head: (Aside) And so modest with it! Mrs Write: Let me just tell anyone who is nursing any illusions about England winning Mr. Head: (Anxiously) I think I mentioned tact, Mrs Write? Mrs Write: Well .... (takes a deep breath and then blurts out) England doesn't stand the faintest chance of winning the World Cup! (Mr. Head covers his head in despair, as all students rise to their feet in uproar) Mrs Write: You see what I mean? Somebody had to tell them! They shouldn't be allowed to continue believing in this fantasy! Mr. Head: (In exasperation) Mrs Write! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Like a bull in a china shop'?