Battle of Hastings Assembly or Class Play This script was written by Sue Russell in celebration of The Battle of Hastings' 950th anniversary. What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music) Sample Text: Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out! Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this! Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work? (Enter Edward) Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh! Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are? Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m (Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4) Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying! Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much! Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things! (Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1) Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking! (Edward falls about laughing at his own joke) (Whole cast groans) Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Mutual Respect Assembly - Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading time (not including songs/music suggestions) Another class play on 'Respect' is available for Key Stage I children. Sample Text: (Whole team do ‘high-fives’) Narrator: Good to see team spirit! Child 1: Oh we have plenty of that! We put in so many hours together Child 2: We sure earn each other’s respect! (Exit ‘Olympians’) Narrator: And that is so important! Just imagine if (Enter ‘Footballers 1 - 4’: Child 3, 4, 5 & 6) Music 5 Football Anthem – or theme music to Match of the Day (Footballers kick ball around, in bored, listless manner before dropping to the ground, for a break) (Enter Coach – Child 7, blowing whistle; all four footballers jump to their feet) Coach: Hey! Slacking off already? I don’t think so! Child 3: Oops! Sorry coach! Coach: You will be! Child 4: We were just Child 7: (Interrupting angrily) Yes, I could see! I repeat, slacking off! Not on my watch, you don’t! Now, that will be ten extra laps of the pitch for you! Off you go! (Exit Footballers, grumbling) Narrator: Oh dear! That seemed a bit harsh! Child 7: Oh? And you think if I’d strolled on and said, ‘Oh that’s fine. Don’t mind me! Just keep doing what you’re doing’ – that they’d have one jot of respect for me? Narrator: Well, er .. Child 7: Of course they wouldn’t. It’s not my job to pamper them. It is to make them better players. To give them pride in themselves! Nothing like a bit of discipline to achieve that! Narrator: Oh I couldn’t agree more! I’m all for discipline. Child 7: And respect! Narrator: Oh yes, that as well! Child 7: Nothing like a bit of healthy respect for your team, the opposition and yourself! Narrator: Wow! That’s a lotta respect! Child 7: You can never have too much respect, believe me!

Love Is .... Assembly This class play on Love looks at what love means to each of us. Although it was written for Key Stage I (5 – 7 year olds) it can easily be adapted for use at Key Stage II (7 – 11 year olds) - the playlist of 10 suggested songs will be enjoyed by all ages. For scripts specific to Valentine’s Day, check out Sue Russell’s alternative Romeo and Juliet scripts. Cast of 25 - easily adapted up or down. Duration - around 15 - 20 mins (potential of doubling this with all music choices) Sample Text: (Enter Child 10, carrying a puppy) Music 7 Puppy Love – Donny Osmond Narrator: Ahh! (Gestures for everyone else to go ‘Ahhh!’) Who can resist a puppy? (Exit Child 10 plus puppy) (Enter Child 11, skipping) Narrator: Wow! Great skipping! You obviously love it! Child 11: And it’s good for me! (Exit Child 11, smiling happily) Narrator: Yes, any form of exercise is good for you! (Enter Child 12) Music 8 Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake (Whole cast singing and dancing) Narrator: And why do you love dancing so much? Child 12: How can you not love dancing? (Exit Child 12 smiling) Narrator: (Trying a few moves) Well, it is good exercise! (Enter Child 13, eating large bar of chocolate) Music 9 Sugar Sugar - The Archies Narrator: Hmm. I’m not sure this is quite so good for you! Child 13: Oh, but I just love chocolate! Who doesn’t? (Exit Child 13) Narrator: (Rubbing tummy) Mmmm. Beginning to feel a bit hungry! (Enter Child 14, reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’)

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden Assembly Class Play for 7 – 11 year olds: Key Stage II This is the second in the Biblical Banter series – a script that has been written in 2 versions, for both younger (5 – 7 year olds) and older (7 – 11 year olds) children – both versions available separately off the website. Please note – this script is for the older age group. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Noah’s Ark and Jonah and the Whale. Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time - double this for inclusion of songs/music. Cast of 30 - though this could be reduced right down to 5, as explained in Production Notes (only 7 actual speakers - rest part of Animal Kingdom, Circle of Life, routine) Interesting choice of music - including Barbie Doll and Something Wrong in Paradise ..... not forgetting, of course, ..... Temptation! Sample Text: Music 2 Temptation – Heaven 17 Serpent: Good day to you! So (hissing) nice ..sss sssssss to meet you! Adam: A pleasure to meet you too. (Looking up into the branches of the Tree of Knowledge). So is this where you hang out? Serpent: Oh yessssssss. Nice ..sssssssss, issssssssn’t it? God: Hmm. Very pleasant. But of course this tree is quite different from every other tree in the garden. Eve: Oh really? And why is that? God: (To Adam) You mean you haven’t told her yet? Adam: Oh, I was just getting round to it! God: (Angrily) Just getting round to it? You need to get round to things around here a lot quicker than that …. Or you’re going to get into all sorts of trouble. Monkey: (Aside) What was I saying? Eve: So, what is it with this tree? God: This tree just happens to be the Tree of Knowledge – of good and evil. Eve: Ooh. I don’t like the sound of that last bit. God: It’s not a ‘bit’ you have to worry about … (pauses) but a bite! One bite of one of these apples … (pauses) and you’re dead .. or as good as! Eve: Dead? God: Correct. Kerput! They are forbidden! Forbidden fruit, get it? (Adam puts his arm reassuringly around Eve) Adam: But don’t you worry your sweet pretty head, Evie! There are plenty of other apples and fruit to eat from, in this garden!

Jonah and the Whale Assembly Class play for 7 – 11 year olds - Key Stage II This is one of the Biblical Banter series. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and Noah’s Ark. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: Speaking time around 15 minutes. This does not include a great playlist of 10 songs which could potentially double time of performance to 30 mins at least! Sample Text: (Sound of thunder and lightning) Captain: Whoah! What was that? Sailor 2: Sounded like thunder and lightning to me! Sailor 3: Oh oh! That’s not good! Jonah: (Nervously) What do you mean? Sailor 4: He means, there’s a storm approaching! Jonah: Oh, that’s all right! I’ve brought an umbrella! (All sailors laugh) Sailor 5: Er, you’re going to need a little more than an umbrella if this storm takes a hold! (Boat starts rocking furiously, as sound of raging wind gathers momentum) Sailor 6: Whoa! Hold on everyone! Sailor 7: We’re in for a rough one! Jonah: (Holding his stomach) Oh dear, I’m beginning to feel a bit queasy! Sailor 8: You’ll be feeling more than that if you don’t get a move on and help! (Everyone rushes around trying to tie things down; storm continues to get worse and worse) Sailor 1: My! This is some storm! Sailor 2: We’ve never had one like this before! Sailor 3: Something tells me someone on board has brought with them more than a little bad luck! (All sailors round on Jonah) Jonah: Who? Me? Captain: Tell me again why you wanted to join my crew on this trip? Jonah: (Spluttering) I, er, well, it’s like this Captain: Come on man, spit it out! What’s your real story? Jonah: (Sighing) OK. I suppose you deserve the truth. You see, I was running! Sailor 4: Running? Sailor 5: Away from what? Jonah: Away from my God. (All Sailors groan and clutch their heads) Captain: Well, that explains it! Had I known, I’d never have allowed you on board my ship!

Islam Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - around 10 minutes reading time, not including music at beginning and end This assembly on the Islamic faith tells the story of Muhammed and gives a brief outline of Islamic beliefs. It is delivered by a Narrator plus speakers numbered 1 - 29. This script would be a useful supplement to the Baghdad: Early Islamic Civilisation script - as a description of Islam as a religion - with accompanying message of peace and respect for all learning. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Islam. Let’s start with what Islam means. Child 1: Islam is the Arabic word for submission. Narrator: I’m guessing, submission to a god? Child 2: One god – Allah! Narrator: And the origins of this religion? Child 3: The religion started AD 610 when Muhammed heard the word of God through the Arch Angel Gabriel. Narrator: And where was this? (Child 3 holds up map of the world) Child 4: (Pointing to Saudi Arabia) Here, in Saudi Arabia, in the city of Mecca. Narrator: And this Muhammed – tell us a bit about him. Child 5: He was born AD 570, at Mecca. Child 6: His family were very poor and he was orphaned at an early age. Child 7: However, he became rich as a caravan leader Narrator: (Looking puzzled) Why would you need to lead a caravan? Don’t you just pull them behind your car? Child 8: No, not that kind of caravan. These were camels, led across the trade routes, carrying goods to be sold at market. Narrator: Aha! Camel caravans! Now I get you! Back to Muhammed! Also available from Sue Russell: An assembly on the Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation & Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation Guided Reading Scripts: 5 scripts, 6 speakers each, plus quiz for each script. Approximately 5 minutes reading time for each (not including the quiz) 1. When? 2. Where? 3. The Story of Muhammed 4. Beliefs of Islam 5. World Religions

Events Leading up to the American War of Independence Class Play This Class Play, on the Events Leading up to the American War of Independence, based on a class of 30, is divided up into THREE sections, with parts allocated as follows: 1. Half the class allocated parts for the first section (Boston Massacre - 15 speakers) 2. Half the class allocated parts for the second section (Boston Tea Party - 15 speakers) 3. The whole class given a final set of parts for the third (Lexington and Concord - 30 speakers) Redcoat Rap is included with this script as an optional extra - to be recited at the beginning or end of this play. Suitable for upper elementary/middle schools. Sample Text (Child walks across stage with The Boston Massacre March 5th 1770 banner) Narrator: It was the night of March 5th 1770. Private Hugh White was on guard duty outside the Custom House in Boston. He was soon joined by a group of jeering boys who didn't seem to mind the extreme cold. (Enter Boys 1, 2, 3 and 4 taunting guard on duty, Private Hugh White) Boy 1: Just look at him, waltzing up and down, in his fine uniform! Boy 2: Anyone would think he had nothing better to do! White: I suggest you find something better to do! Be off! Boy 3: Ooh! Is that a threat, Mr. Lobsterback? White: You mind your tongue, young man, or .. Boy 4: Or what, Mr. Redcoat? Or what? White: Don't push your luck, sonny! Boy 1: What you gonna do? Boy 2: You wouldn't go firing on innocent civilians now, would you? Boy 3: That sure would get you into heaps of trouble. Boy 4: Us being mere boys Boy 1: And unarmed. So, looks like you're stuck! White: I wouldn't bet on it. You come another step nearer and you'll be sorry. Boy 2: He's bluffing! White: You reckon?

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken! Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes) Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza! These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script. Sample Text Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours! Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough! Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough? Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm... Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for! (Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder) Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand (Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich) Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill! ‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was Funny Bunny: Envious Emu? Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that! Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!

Guy Fawkes Assembly or Class Play The inclusion of a *mini play entitled The Trial of Guy Fawkes presents a ‘new take’ on history’s verdict – an interesting twist when the only witness is found guilty by the only member of the jury! i.e. Guy Fawkes walks free! This mini play has a cast of 6 and its inclusion is optional – the rest of the assembly focuses on the facts! Another ‘addition’ is at the end of the script where I have included a Fact File – which I thought would be useful (a) to add more facts to the assembly if necessary (perhaps if the mini play is not included) (b) as an introduction to the subject (c) as the basis for a quiz, to test the children’s knowledge. Hopefully, a pretty comprehensive package! *Guy Fawkes on Trial This is a short play with cast of 6. It could be used in the classroom or put on as a performance in front of the school, or used by a drama club. Sample text From Guy Fawkes Assembly: Duration: around 10 minutes Characters (Cast of 30) Narrator Children 1 -10 Guy Fawkes plus 13 Conspirators Cast for ‘play’ Judge (Guy Fawkes) Policeman (Witness) – see Production Notes Defense Prosecutor Member of the Jury Music: Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks (Children file in to this music) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our Guy Fawkes Assembly. Child 1: The music you have just been listening to is Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks. First performed in 1749 for George II Child 2: But more recently played, in 2002, in celebration of our present queen’s Golden Jubilee (Child 3 nudges Child 2) Child 2: Oh! That’s Queen Elizabeth II, of course! At Buckingham Palace – plus fireworks! Child 3: The earliest fireworks were made in China, around 2,000 years ago – otherwise known as Chinese crackers! Child 4: The first ones to be used in England were at the wedding of King Henry VII in 1486. Child 5: Fireworks became more and more popular Child 6: And King James II was so impressed by those used at his own coronation in 1685 that he had the guy in charge knighted! Child 7: Did you say ‘guy’? Child 6: I may have done. Why? Child 7: Not the Guy? Child 6: What are you on about? Child 7: (Shaking his head in disbelief) Only the most famous Guy in our entire history! (Guy Fawkes steps forward) Guy Fawkes: (To Child 7) Thank you! That would be me! Guy Fawkes! (Whole cast applauds and cheers) Narrator: (Disapprovingly) Only the most infamous Guy in our entire history! Guy Fawkes: (Looking hurt) Ooh! That’s a bit harsh!

Halloween Assembly Class Play: The Vanishing Pumpkin Customer feedback received 12.10.14 AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Well written, funny and great suggestions for music. I’m using this with a class of 31 and the suggestions for adaptations were spot on. The class love it and are super excited for our assembly on the 30th of October. Thank you Cast: 30 (See Production Notes for smaller cast size) Duration: 10 to 15 minutes. The play can be extended by the addition of jokes Music 1 Disney Haunted House Judge 1: Welcome! Judge 2: We are gathered here to behold the year’s spookiest show! Judge 3: Our very own ….. Whole cast: (Shouting together) Halloween Talent Competition! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: Each year we have a different set of contestants – but all sharing one thing in common! They’re all All Contestants: (Yelling) Gruesome! Judge 2: That’s right! No prizes here for beauty – on the contrary… Judge 3: The more gruesome, the better! Judge 1: (Looking up and down the line of contestants) And I have to say, this year you have truly surpassed yourselves! Judge 2: (Nodding) Absolutely! Judge 3: What a grotesque lot! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: But are you truly scary? Judge 2: That is what will win you this coveted prize! Judge 3: A pumpkin – filled with every imaginable horror! (Each judge walks over and holds up something from out of the pumpkin, before dropping it back in again; the showing of each ‘exhibit’ prompting cries of admiration from the cast) Judge 1: A venomous snake! Judge 2: A warty toad! Judge 3: A blood-covered axe! Judge 1: Ah yes! There is something for everyone! Judge 2: But who is to be our champion this year? Judge 3: Let’s meet the contestants! Music 2 Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone (Enter 3 witches) Witches: (Together) We are the three witches of Macbeth! (Three witches recite 2 lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, whilst bent over a caldron) Witches: Double, double, toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Witch 1: Evil we look! Witch 2: Ugly we are! Witch 3: (All sweetly) Choose us, kind judges Witches: (Screaming together) Or we’ll have yaaaaaaaaah! (Witches race over to the judges, making menacing gestures) Judge 1: That’s enough! Judge 2: We will not be intimidated!

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

The Easter Egg Hunt Assembly for Key Stage 1 This is a class play/assembly lasting about 10 minutes, based on the same nine birds as used in the Key Stage II version but with a further 21 feathery friends to make up the numbers - to 30. Sample Text Rude Robin: (Huffily) And mine! Mind you don't drop it! Posh Pigeon: I'm sure you'll be delighted with this one! Polite Peacock: Please accept this. No need to thank me! Boastful Buzzard: Here's the best of the lot! Happy Hawk: Happy to be of service! Crazy Cuckoo: You'd have to be cuckoo not to take mine! Weepy Woodpecker: (Weeping) Oh woe! When will I see you again, little egg? Kind Kingfisher: There, there! (To Weepy Woodpecker) Here's another handkerchief for you! (To Clumsy Chicken) And an egg for you! Serious Stork: (Very seriously) Take great care! This is serious business! Pretty Polly Parrot: Pretty Polly! Pretty Polly! Here's a pretty egg for you! Flamboyant Flamingo: Here we are! My very best! Gracious Grouse: Please accept this! Cranky Crow: (Crankily) Take this! Can I go now? Bored Blackbird: (Yawning) Yeah! How much more? Thoughtful Thrush: Now, now! A little patience! I think you'll find we're nearly done! Dim Dove: Where did you want it? Loud Lark: (Shouting) Right there! In that basket! Here, watch me! (Demonstrating) Easy, huh? Outspoken Owl: About time! This is the last time I'm standing at the end of the line! Hoarse Humming bird: (Humming) Here you are! Miserable Magpie: (Whining) Last but not least! What a wait!

Olympic Games 2016 Class Play - on all 28 sports! (One of 10 Olympic scripts written by Sue Russell) Cast of 30, approximate duration: 30 minutes. This class play on the 2016 Rio Olympic Games covers all 28 sports, identifying the challenges facing all those taking part in the Games this year. And as usual, our narrator has more than enough challenges of his own - keeping order with this very 'mixed bunch'! Citius Altius and Fortius are all admirably demonstrated - even by those winning backwards!?! Read on to find out who these unlikely champions are! Sample Text: Narrator: Well I do feel I’m burning up rather a large number of calories – just listening to what all these athletes have to do! Still, I guess sitting in a boat can’t be that hard! Child 16: (Exploding) Pardon? I’d like to see you taking on them rapids! Narrator: (Anxiously) Rapids? Whoever said anything about rapids? Not the white water variety I’m hoping? Child 16: Oh yes! You could find yourself in some very deep water! Narrator: Not if I have anything to do with it! I’ll be keeping my feet firmly on the ground! Child 16: Well, we do race our canoes on still water, too. But there’s nothing still about our bodies when we’re battling to get to that finishing line first! Child 17: And then there’s us rowers! The only guys to cross the finishing line backwards! Narrator: Pardon? Child 17: Yes, winning backwards is our speciality! Eight of us pulling on those oars, splashing along backwards! Narrator: So how can you see where you’re going? Child 17: By listening to the cox – he or she acts as our eyes and tells us which way to go! Narrator: Quite a responsible job, I’m guessing! Keeping you on that river – and not in it!

Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage One Cast Size: 25 easily adjusted up or down (Class teacher taking role of Narrator) Duration: Around 5 – 10 minutes This assembly is based on 10 nursery rhymes and, as explained in the production notes, can be seen as a template - adding or replacing rhymes as you see fit. There is a longer assembly available (around 15 - 20 minutes) which has a choice of 20 nursery rhymes - this one is called Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version - and this could also be used by Key Stage II or used as a combined production, between both Key Stages - i.e. as a collaborative piece. Please note: the first half of the extended assembly uses the original 10 rhyme script i.e. just adds on. Sample Text: Narrator: What is that noise? (Enter cat playing fiddle, followed by cow holding moon; dog; and dish holding a spoon) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Hey Diddle Diddle, The cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away With the spoon. (Exit cat, cow, dog and dish) (Everyone uncovers their ears) Narrator: Oh thank goodness for that. I mean, don’t get me wrong – we all like a little music … but not quite like that! (Enter Little Miss Muffet) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; (Enter Spider) There came a big spider, Who sat down beside her And frightened Miss Muffet away. (Exit Little Miss Muffet and Spider) Narrator: (Cowering behind children) Has it gone? Is it safe to come out yet? Whole cast: (Sighing) Yes. The spider’s gone, Miss! (Narrator returns to her former place) Narrator: Huh! Well, that’s fine then. (Pauses) Not that I was ever scared of that wee spider! Nah – just acting along with Miss Muffet there! (Whole cast look at each other, shaking heads) Narrator: (Coughing) Any how! Moving on. (Enter Old Mother Hubbard and her dog) Narrator: Ah! A dear old lady and her wee doggie. (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Old Mother Hubbard She went to the cupboard To fetch her poor dog a bone, But when she got there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. (Collective sympathetic sigh from the Cast) Narrator: Oh dear! Oh we can’t have that! (Narrator rummages around in her handbag and comes up with a bone) (Narrator holds up bone to dog which bounds over to Narrator in delight, barking happily, jumping up and down, and trying to lick her face)

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions) Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules! Sample Text: Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler (Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to (Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs) (Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear) Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes? Superhero 1: Do you mean, us? Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck! Narrator: But why? What’s going on? Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on! Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’! Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience? Superhero 6: Come back another day? Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here! Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days. Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly! Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so! Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster! Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease (Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves) Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise! (Hercules snatches notes) Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning! Narrator: Old fashioned? Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek! Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek? Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules? Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!

Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life? The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors? But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on! Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance) Sample Text (BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang) BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours? Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband (BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously) GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much! GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening! BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) (BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner) BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’? (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you! BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot (Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys? Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right! (BG 2 swaggers back to seat) GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that! (Collective Gasp from Bad Gang) BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid? GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right? Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right! BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great! GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers! BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action? (BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same) GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance! BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop! GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson (Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)