When Behaviour Is Communication – Research-Informed Teacher Handbook

A practical, compassionate guide designed to help teachers, teaching assistants, SENCOs and pastoral staff understand what may be happening underneath a child’s behaviour.

Rather than focusing only on how to stop behaviour, this handbook encourages staff to consider the child’s perspective, possible psychological factors and the support that may help them feel safer, calmer and more able to learn.

The resource combines accessible psychology with realistic classroom strategies and warm, child-friendly language that teachers can actually use in the moment.

Includes:

• ACEs explained sensitively, including protective factors and why ACE scores should not be used to label individual children
• attachment-informed classroom practice without diagnosing or categorising pupils
• trauma-informed and relational approaches
• co-regulation and adult self-regulation strategies
• low-arousal communication techniques
• guidance for creating a calmer, more predictable classroom
• evidence-aware growth mindset strategies
• anxiety and worry
• anger and explosive behaviour
• shutdown, freeze and withdrawal
• bullying, rejection and friendship difficulties
• bereavement and grief
• low mood and loss of motivation
• perfectionism and fear of mistakes
• sensory overload
• school avoidance and attendance anxiety
• responses following frightening or traumatic experiences
• impulsivity and difficulties stopping before acting
• change, transitions and loss of control
• demand avoidance and understanding “won’t” versus “can’t right now”
• separation anxiety and clinginess
• reassurance-seeking and adult dependence
• lying, taking things and connection-seeking behaviour
• practical restorative conversations after incidents
• ready-to-use phrases for difficult classroom situations
• boundaries without shame
• a quick-response behaviour flowchart
• “same behaviour, different possible needs” guidance
• individual child support and co-regulation planning sheets
• safeguarding and referral guidance
• research and professional sources

The central message throughout the resource is simple:

Behaviour gives us information, but it does not automatically tell us why a child is struggling.

This handbook aims to help adults respond with curiosity before judgement, maintain clear and safe boundaries, and give children the support and language they need to cope differently next time.

Suitable for KS1, KS2 and wider primary settings, particularly SEMH, SEND, pastoral provision, behaviour support, inclusion teams and staff CPD.

Please note: This is a classroom support resource and is not intended to replace therapy, diagnosis, safeguarding procedures or professional mental-health support.