Risk and Danger Assembly Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement! Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions: 1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson 2. Take a Chance – Abba 3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder 4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor 5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action! Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’ Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil! Sample Text: Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right? (All nod) Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds! Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming! Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see? (Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good) Ah that’s better! What was I saying? Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks. Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one? Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end! Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please! (Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’) Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute! (Julius Caesar collapses in a heap) (Tumultuous applause from the whole cast) Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'! (Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow) Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the

Little Red Riding Hood Play cast of 6 – an alternative version of the Brothers Grimm version of the Fairy Tale This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm - but re-written, just as they did! These include Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel and Cinderella - all very alternative! This alternative Little Red Riding Hood play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 - 15 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty scripts are also available as assemblies, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Sample Text Little Red Riding Hood: But Grandma, what big ears you’ve got! Narrator: All the better to hear you with! (Aside) Oh! This is even better than I thought! I’m an absolute natural. I can hear that phone ringing now ‘Would you be available to star in the West End next week? We’ve heard such glowing reports about ..’ Little Red Riding Hood: Hey! Wait a minute! Narrator: No! No! What about the teeth? Little Red Riding Hood: Oh! OK. Now you come to mention it, they do need a bit of a clean! Narrator: No! No! Stick to the script! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh you mean, ‘But Grandma, what big teeth you’ve got’? Narrator: (Growling) All the better to eat you with! Little Red Riding Hood: (Nonchalantly) Yeah, right! Narrator: Hey! You’re meant to scream and run away! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh really? Narrator: Can’t you see, I’m not your grandma but a wicked wolf, come to eat you? Little Red Riding Hood: Well, the wolf in the woods seemed harmless enough; and (Little Red Riding Hood removes Narrator’s mask) I’ve been to enough bad school plays to realise you’re not the real thing! (Enter Wolf, growling savagely) Wolf: Whereas I am! (Little Red Riding Hood screams) (Enter Grandmother) Grandmother: Oh really, Little Red Riding Hood! Do you have to make all this noise? Little Red Riding Hood: But there’s a wolf in here! Can’t you see? And anyway, aren’t you meant to be unwell? Grandmother: Oh that’s just your mother, making a fuss as usual. Nothing wrong with me! Wolf: Well, that’s where I’m afraid we disagree! Grandmother: (Indignantly) Pardon? Narrator: Yes, I’m with the wolf on this one!

Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

Robin Hood Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 15 minutes reading time. This does not include *music suggestions/dance routines which could potentially double the length of the performance. So, are those Merry Men about to have their smiles turned upside down? Never! Not even in the face of those brutish Guards? Double never! Not when you've got some neat tricks/moves up the sleeves of your tunic! See how good triumphs over evil without any blood being shed - it is a family show! *Sample Playlist • Bad – Michael Jackson • I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas • Happy – Pharrell Williams Sample Text Narrator: Hey! You might think you’re a hero! Peasant 1: But you haven’t done anything yet! Narrator: Right! All that dancing and prancing! Peasant 2: You need to demonstrate to us that you’re a hero! Narrator: No more theatrics! Peasant 3: Prove yourself! Narrator: Stop all this lovey dovey stuff – that can wait til later! Peasant 4: It’s our futures you need to change! Peasant 5: Show us you’re the man you say you are! Peasant 6: Take on those baddies! Peasant 7: Be our hero! Robin Hood: Hey! Steady on! I may be pretty good with this bow and arrow Maid Marion: (Sighing) The best, or so I’ve heard! Robin Hood: But taking on the whole of Prince John’s crowd? Whoa! That’s a tall order! (Enter Little John, squaring up to his great height) Little John: Well, I, Little John, am more than up to the challenge! (Enter rest of Merry Men) Friar Tuck: And you can count me, Friar Tuck, in! Alan-a-Dale: And me, Alan-a-Dale! Will Scarlet: And me, Will Scarlet! Much the Miller’s Son: And me, Much the Miller’s Son! Narrator: (Clutching head) Oh wow! That’s some fighting force you have there, Robin! An overweight man of the church, a minstrel, an ex-soldier and a miller’s son! Peasant 1: (Sarcastically) Wonderful! Peasant 2: More than enough to take on Prince John’s men! Peasant 3: They won’t know what’s hit them! Peasant 4: The friar’s belly Peasant 5: The minstrel’s lute Peasant 6: The ex-soldier’s rusting sword Peasant 7: Or the miller’s son’s bag of flour! Peasant 1: Some army! Come on, folks. Let’s leave this lot to their fantasies! (Exit Peasants, muttering sadly) (Enter Prince John, Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisborne plus Guards) Sir Guy of Gisborne: (To Robin Hood) Aha! The villain himself! Seize him, guards! (Guards seize Robin Hood) Maid Marion: Why you cowards! Seven against one! I’d hardly say that was fair! Sheriff of Nottingham: (Laughing) But hadn’t you heard, sweet lady? Nothing is fair around here!

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Play This re-telling of the original story stays true to the plot - with just a small twist at the end. Oh, and anyone wishing to play the original 'delightfully wholesome' Dorothy may be in for a bit of a shock! There is also a Christmas version of this class play or assembly - with, as you would expect, a few Xmas additions! This is available as a separate purchase. Cast of 30 (with some doubling up) Duration: Around 30 minutes not including the music suggestions. Also available: · The Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10 of these, with 6 speakers each; around 3 minutes each – total reading time around 30 minutes Sample Text: Wicked Witch: Now. Where have that little gang of misfits got to? I don’t suppose anyone would miss them! Narrator: Whatever do you mean, ma’am? ‘Miss them’? Wicked Witch: Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m about to wipe them off the face of Oz! Good riddance I say! Narrator: (Gasping) You what? But you can’t! Wicked Witch: Oh really? Just watch me! (Enter Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion) Wicked Witch: Ah here they all are! Right on cue! Like lambs to the slaughter! (Sound of wolves howling) Wicked Witch: Bring on the wolves! (Enter wolves – who are then all ‘knocked out’ by Tin Woodman) (Whole cast cheers, as Tin Woodman waves his axe triumphantly) (Exit wolves, rubbing their heads) Wicked Witch: (To Tin Woodman) Hey! That’s no way to treat my pets! I’ll report you to the RSPCA! (Sound of Crows ‘cawing’) Wicked Witch: Bring on the crows! (Enter crows. Scarecrow pulls a silly face and they all retreat in terror) (Whole cast cheers, as Scarecrow struts up and down triumphantly) Wicked Witch: Hey! What happened to my crows? Narrator: (Pointing to Scarecrow) Well, he is a scarecrow, remember? (Wicked Witch stamps her foot in disgust) (Sound of bees buzzing) Wicked Witch: Bring on the black bees! (Enter bees. Each ‘stings’ Tin Woodman then ‘drops down dead’) (Whole cast cheers as Tin Woodman struts around victoriously) Wicked Witch: (Shrieking) Now what? What has happened to my black bees? Narrator: Er, I think you’ll find they just all died. Isn’t that what bees do, once they have stung? Wicked Witch: (Shaking fist) Drat! And double drat! Why didn’t I think of that? (Sound of marching feet) Wicked Witch: Bring on my Winkie Soldiers! (Enter Winkie Soldiers, marching purposefully towards ‘the group’) (Lion lets out a huge roar and the soldiers all panic and run away in terror) (Whole cast cheers as Cowardly Lion struts around triumphantly) (Wicked Witch screams her dismay) Wicked Witch: Right! That’s it! You’ve asked for it this time!

Awesome Animal World Record Breakers Assembly This script was written for KS II but can be simplified for KSI. A separate script for KSI will shortly be available Cast of 30 Cast size can be easily adjusted up or down by the adding on or taking off the suggested list of animals. Duration Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions As with cast size, this can be altered according to the number of animals and amount of information given on each. This script covers the biggest, the smallest, the fiercest, the fastest, the smartest, the longest-living ..... a truly awesome cast! KS I script shortly available Sample Text: Narrator: (Jumping back in alarm) Wow! I didn’t see you fly in! Komodo Dragon: (Patiently) That’s because I didn’t! I’m a Komodo dragon from South East Asia. And, just for the record, I neither fly nor breathe fire! Narrator: But you look pretty fearsome, for all that! Komodo Dragon: Well, I am the world’s largest lizard and I do have some pretty unpleasant poison and bacteria in my saliva! Narrator: Ugh! Not a nice way to die! I think we’ll have you just sitting nice and quietly back here, where you came from! (Narrator leads dragon back to his place) Music 4 Chariots of Fire (Enter Ostrich, running gracefully in time to the music) (Narrator holds up hand for ostrich to stop) Narrator: Er excuse me! I hate to interrupt your morning exercise Ostrich: Oh, I can go way faster than that! I’m just warming up! Apart from being the world’s biggest bird, I am also the fastest runner – for a bird, that is! Seventy km an hour! Narrator: Wow! That’s fast (pauses) considering your size! Ostrich: I also lay the largest eggs and have the biggest eyes to watch over them! (Enter Goliath bird-eater spider – whole cast shrieks and cowers in fright) Goliath Bird-Eater Spider: Just as well you don’t live anywhere near me! Ostrich: (Haughtily) South America is a long way from my African home (pauses) but seriously? One stamp from me and you’re history!

Robots Assembly When is a human not a human? When is a robot not a robot? Our unsuspecting Narrator is just about to find out the hard way! As are those androids - when having a sense of humour is not enough! Cast size: 30 (easily adjustable up or down) Duration: around 20 minutes (depending on amount of music used) Sample Text 1: Music 1 – I Can Transform Ya – Chris Brown (Children file in, sitting down in two rows of fifteen, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and I am happy to introduce you to my magnificent cast (Narrator gestures to cast to rise) (Whole cast rises to its feet) Whole Cast: (Robotically) Good morning! ... Very pleased to meet you! (Narrator gestures to cast to sit) (Whole cast sits down) Narrator: What a well-behaved lot! (Aside to audience) I can see I’m going to enjoy this particular assembly … (pointing to cast) … on robots, in case you hadn’t guessed. Sure beats my usual task of directing noisy, badly behaved children! Sample Text 2: Group III: (Together) How did you guess? Narrator: Oh, when you’ve been around children as long as I have, you come to know them pretty well. Child 7: But they’re human aren’t they? Narrator: Hmm. Now, there’s a question! Child 8: But, they laugh and cry, don’t they? Child 9: Weren’t we convincing enough? Child 10: We laughed at all the jokes Child 11: We even laughed in all the right places! Child 12: We cried during that soppy song Child 13: Real tears! Child 14: We showed all the emotions you humans go on about! Child 15: So where did we go wrong? Child 1: I think we can answer that. Child 2: No human child, with half a brain, would find those particular jokes funny! Child 3: Truly lame is what they were!

Midsummer Nights Dream Alternative Version III This alternative ‘nightmare’ version of Midsummer Night's Dream runs at approximately 50 minutes, has a cast of 25, and a 'wicked' choice of music! This is the third in a series of scripts written by playwright Sue Russell - the first was for a small summer camp group (of 10), the second for an expanded cast (of 17), and this third for a cast of 25. Suitable for children and adults alike - let's hope your director has an easier time of it than mine (alias long suffering teacher!) Theseus: Are you referring to our night's entertainment, my dear? Hippolyta: If you can call it that! From what I've heard .. Theseus: (Interrupting) Ah, never judge a book by its cover! Teacher: (Raising his copy of Midsummer Night's Dream, above the covers) Indeed. You can say that again! Still, nothing's going to spoil anything tonight. Just as long as I stay awake to the end! (Bottom, bouncing onto the stage) Bottom: And we'll sure make sure that there's no falling asleep during our amazing performance! (Joined by Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling and Snug) Bottom: Or should I say, my amazing performance! Quince: Now, now, Bottom! Remember what I said to you about team spirit! Bottom: (Tutting) Makes it sound more like a game of soccer! I prefer to think of myself as following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt, rather than David Beckham! Lysander: (Laughing) I'm sure either gentleman would be equally honored - to know who was following him! Demetrius: Of course! (Pointing at Bottom) What a fine figure of a man! Hermia: (Crossing her brow with her hand) I grow weak, just looking at him! Helena: (Pretending to faint) Such a man! Such a vision of .... Theseus: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Could we leave the amateur dramatics to these 6 players please? Hippolyta: (Groaning) Something tells me, this is going to be one long night!

Battle of Hastings Assembly or Class Play This script was written by Sue Russell in celebration of The Battle of Hastings' 950th anniversary. What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music) Sample Text: Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out! Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this! Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work? (Enter Edward) Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh! Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are? Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m (Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4) Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying! Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much! Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things! (Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1) Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking! (Edward falls about laughing at his own joke) (Whole cast groans) Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Mutual Respect Assembly - Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading time (not including songs/music suggestions) Another class play on 'Respect' is available for Key Stage I children. Sample Text: (Whole team do ‘high-fives’) Narrator: Good to see team spirit! Child 1: Oh we have plenty of that! We put in so many hours together Child 2: We sure earn each other’s respect! (Exit ‘Olympians’) Narrator: And that is so important! Just imagine if (Enter ‘Footballers 1 - 4’: Child 3, 4, 5 & 6) Music 5 Football Anthem – or theme music to Match of the Day (Footballers kick ball around, in bored, listless manner before dropping to the ground, for a break) (Enter Coach – Child 7, blowing whistle; all four footballers jump to their feet) Coach: Hey! Slacking off already? I don’t think so! Child 3: Oops! Sorry coach! Coach: You will be! Child 4: We were just Child 7: (Interrupting angrily) Yes, I could see! I repeat, slacking off! Not on my watch, you don’t! Now, that will be ten extra laps of the pitch for you! Off you go! (Exit Footballers, grumbling) Narrator: Oh dear! That seemed a bit harsh! Child 7: Oh? And you think if I’d strolled on and said, ‘Oh that’s fine. Don’t mind me! Just keep doing what you’re doing’ – that they’d have one jot of respect for me? Narrator: Well, er .. Child 7: Of course they wouldn’t. It’s not my job to pamper them. It is to make them better players. To give them pride in themselves! Nothing like a bit of discipline to achieve that! Narrator: Oh I couldn’t agree more! I’m all for discipline. Child 7: And respect! Narrator: Oh yes, that as well! Child 7: Nothing like a bit of healthy respect for your team, the opposition and yourself! Narrator: Wow! That’s a lotta respect! Child 7: You can never have too much respect, believe me!

Love Is .... Assembly This class play on Love looks at what love means to each of us. Although it was written for Key Stage I (5 – 7 year olds) it can easily be adapted for use at Key Stage II (7 – 11 year olds) - the playlist of 10 suggested songs will be enjoyed by all ages. For scripts specific to Valentine’s Day, check out Sue Russell’s alternative Romeo and Juliet scripts. Cast of 25 - easily adapted up or down. Duration - around 15 - 20 mins (potential of doubling this with all music choices) Sample Text: (Enter Child 10, carrying a puppy) Music 7 Puppy Love – Donny Osmond Narrator: Ahh! (Gestures for everyone else to go ‘Ahhh!’) Who can resist a puppy? (Exit Child 10 plus puppy) (Enter Child 11, skipping) Narrator: Wow! Great skipping! You obviously love it! Child 11: And it’s good for me! (Exit Child 11, smiling happily) Narrator: Yes, any form of exercise is good for you! (Enter Child 12) Music 8 Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake (Whole cast singing and dancing) Narrator: And why do you love dancing so much? Child 12: How can you not love dancing? (Exit Child 12 smiling) Narrator: (Trying a few moves) Well, it is good exercise! (Enter Child 13, eating large bar of chocolate) Music 9 Sugar Sugar - The Archies Narrator: Hmm. I’m not sure this is quite so good for you! Child 13: Oh, but I just love chocolate! Who doesn’t? (Exit Child 13) Narrator: (Rubbing tummy) Mmmm. Beginning to feel a bit hungry! (Enter Child 14, reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’)

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden Assembly Class Play for 7 – 11 year olds: Key Stage II This is the second in the Biblical Banter series – a script that has been written in 2 versions, for both younger (5 – 7 year olds) and older (7 – 11 year olds) children – both versions available separately off the website. Please note – this script is for the older age group. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Noah’s Ark and Jonah and the Whale. Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time - double this for inclusion of songs/music. Cast of 30 - though this could be reduced right down to 5, as explained in Production Notes (only 7 actual speakers - rest part of Animal Kingdom, Circle of Life, routine) Interesting choice of music - including Barbie Doll and Something Wrong in Paradise ..... not forgetting, of course, ..... Temptation! Sample Text: Music 2 Temptation – Heaven 17 Serpent: Good day to you! So (hissing) nice ..sss sssssss to meet you! Adam: A pleasure to meet you too. (Looking up into the branches of the Tree of Knowledge). So is this where you hang out? Serpent: Oh yessssssss. Nice ..sssssssss, issssssssn’t it? God: Hmm. Very pleasant. But of course this tree is quite different from every other tree in the garden. Eve: Oh really? And why is that? God: (To Adam) You mean you haven’t told her yet? Adam: Oh, I was just getting round to it! God: (Angrily) Just getting round to it? You need to get round to things around here a lot quicker than that …. Or you’re going to get into all sorts of trouble. Monkey: (Aside) What was I saying? Eve: So, what is it with this tree? God: This tree just happens to be the Tree of Knowledge – of good and evil. Eve: Ooh. I don’t like the sound of that last bit. God: It’s not a ‘bit’ you have to worry about … (pauses) but a bite! One bite of one of these apples … (pauses) and you’re dead .. or as good as! Eve: Dead? God: Correct. Kerput! They are forbidden! Forbidden fruit, get it? (Adam puts his arm reassuringly around Eve) Adam: But don’t you worry your sweet pretty head, Evie! There are plenty of other apples and fruit to eat from, in this garden!

Jonah and the Whale Assembly Class play for 7 – 11 year olds - Key Stage II This is one of the Biblical Banter series. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and Noah’s Ark. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: Speaking time around 15 minutes. This does not include a great playlist of 10 songs which could potentially double time of performance to 30 mins at least! Sample Text: (Sound of thunder and lightning) Captain: Whoah! What was that? Sailor 2: Sounded like thunder and lightning to me! Sailor 3: Oh oh! That’s not good! Jonah: (Nervously) What do you mean? Sailor 4: He means, there’s a storm approaching! Jonah: Oh, that’s all right! I’ve brought an umbrella! (All sailors laugh) Sailor 5: Er, you’re going to need a little more than an umbrella if this storm takes a hold! (Boat starts rocking furiously, as sound of raging wind gathers momentum) Sailor 6: Whoa! Hold on everyone! Sailor 7: We’re in for a rough one! Jonah: (Holding his stomach) Oh dear, I’m beginning to feel a bit queasy! Sailor 8: You’ll be feeling more than that if you don’t get a move on and help! (Everyone rushes around trying to tie things down; storm continues to get worse and worse) Sailor 1: My! This is some storm! Sailor 2: We’ve never had one like this before! Sailor 3: Something tells me someone on board has brought with them more than a little bad luck! (All sailors round on Jonah) Jonah: Who? Me? Captain: Tell me again why you wanted to join my crew on this trip? Jonah: (Spluttering) I, er, well, it’s like this Captain: Come on man, spit it out! What’s your real story? Jonah: (Sighing) OK. I suppose you deserve the truth. You see, I was running! Sailor 4: Running? Sailor 5: Away from what? Jonah: Away from my God. (All Sailors groan and clutch their heads) Captain: Well, that explains it! Had I known, I’d never have allowed you on board my ship!

Islam Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - around 10 minutes reading time, not including music at beginning and end This assembly on the Islamic faith tells the story of Muhammed and gives a brief outline of Islamic beliefs. It is delivered by a Narrator plus speakers numbered 1 - 29. This script would be a useful supplement to the Baghdad: Early Islamic Civilisation script - as a description of Islam as a religion - with accompanying message of peace and respect for all learning. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Islam. Let’s start with what Islam means. Child 1: Islam is the Arabic word for submission. Narrator: I’m guessing, submission to a god? Child 2: One god – Allah! Narrator: And the origins of this religion? Child 3: The religion started AD 610 when Muhammed heard the word of God through the Arch Angel Gabriel. Narrator: And where was this? (Child 3 holds up map of the world) Child 4: (Pointing to Saudi Arabia) Here, in Saudi Arabia, in the city of Mecca. Narrator: And this Muhammed – tell us a bit about him. Child 5: He was born AD 570, at Mecca. Child 6: His family were very poor and he was orphaned at an early age. Child 7: However, he became rich as a caravan leader Narrator: (Looking puzzled) Why would you need to lead a caravan? Don’t you just pull them behind your car? Child 8: No, not that kind of caravan. These were camels, led across the trade routes, carrying goods to be sold at market. Narrator: Aha! Camel caravans! Now I get you! Back to Muhammed! Also available from Sue Russell: An assembly on the Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation & Baghdad Early Islamic Civilisation Guided Reading Scripts: 5 scripts, 6 speakers each, plus quiz for each script. Approximately 5 minutes reading time for each (not including the quiz) 1. When? 2. Where? 3. The Story of Muhammed 4. Beliefs of Islam 5. World Religions

Events Leading up to the American War of Independence Class Play This Class Play, on the Events Leading up to the American War of Independence, based on a class of 30, is divided up into THREE sections, with parts allocated as follows: 1. Half the class allocated parts for the first section (Boston Massacre - 15 speakers) 2. Half the class allocated parts for the second section (Boston Tea Party - 15 speakers) 3. The whole class given a final set of parts for the third (Lexington and Concord - 30 speakers) Redcoat Rap is included with this script as an optional extra - to be recited at the beginning or end of this play. Suitable for upper elementary/middle schools. Sample Text (Child walks across stage with The Boston Massacre March 5th 1770 banner) Narrator: It was the night of March 5th 1770. Private Hugh White was on guard duty outside the Custom House in Boston. He was soon joined by a group of jeering boys who didn't seem to mind the extreme cold. (Enter Boys 1, 2, 3 and 4 taunting guard on duty, Private Hugh White) Boy 1: Just look at him, waltzing up and down, in his fine uniform! Boy 2: Anyone would think he had nothing better to do! White: I suggest you find something better to do! Be off! Boy 3: Ooh! Is that a threat, Mr. Lobsterback? White: You mind your tongue, young man, or .. Boy 4: Or what, Mr. Redcoat? Or what? White: Don't push your luck, sonny! Boy 1: What you gonna do? Boy 2: You wouldn't go firing on innocent civilians now, would you? Boy 3: That sure would get you into heaps of trouble. Boy 4: Us being mere boys Boy 1: And unarmed. So, looks like you're stuck! White: I wouldn't bet on it. You come another step nearer and you'll be sorry. Boy 2: He's bluffing! White: You reckon?

Bonfire Night School Assembly or Class Play This short assembly, The Hidden Gunpowder, celebrating Bonfire or Guy Fawkes Night, teams Guy Fawkes up with the local fireworks - helping each other out .... with their annual ordeal! Duration: 5-10 mins (up to 15 minutes with optional inclusion of Safety Guidelines, as dictated by 'Fireworks') Cast of 30 Narrator Fireworks 1-9 Sparklers (5) Bangers (5) Catherine Wheels (5) Rockets (5) Music 1 - Royal Fireworks Music - Handel (Music 1 as background music while children file in) Narrator: Good morning! And welcome to our Bonfire Night Assembly! (Everyone slouching, with miserable expressions) Firework 1: So. Here we are again. Firework 2: Same thing every year. (All Fireworks demonstrate a firework exploding into the air, creating a magnificent display, then dying) All Fireworks: (Together) Voompf! Pow! Zap! Fizzle ..... Firework 3: And then it's all over ..... for another year. Narrator: Hey! What's going on here? Or rather, what's not going on here? I've never seen such a sorry looking bunch of fireworks! Firework 4: Huh! You want to try being a 30 second wonder! Firework 5: It's just not fair! All we're asking for is a decent amount of party time! Firework 4: I mean, who can enjoy themselves in 30 seconds? Firework 5: That's no party! (Enter Guy Fawkes) Narrator: Ah! Mr. Guy Fawkes! Welcome! Perhaps you can cheer this miserable lot up! Fawkes: What? They're not moaning again, are they? (Turns to Narrator) You know something? I get this every year - it's a wonder they ever ignite! Narrator: That's what I was thinking! Fawkes: Anyone would think they had a hard life! Now, take me for example. Just look at what I have to put on? Just the oldest, shabbiest clothes nobody else would be seen dead in! Firework 6: And when you consider the number of people who come to see you .... Firework 7: Even if it is just to gawp at you burning up on top of that bonfire .... Firework 8: It just isn't right. Firework 9: He should be given a decent suit to wear! Fawkes: Too right! Why should I be dressed up like a scarecrow when I'm the main attraction? All Fireworks: (Together, angrily) Now wait a minute!

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken! Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes) Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza! These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script. Sample Text Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours! Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough! Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough? Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm... Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for! (Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder) Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand (Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich) Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill! ‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was Funny Bunny: Envious Emu? Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that! Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!