School's Out Leavers' Assembly The cast size (30) can easily be adapted up (for a year group) or down, if necessary, to suit class size of less than 30. Duration: Reading time is only about 5 minutes. However, if all 12 songs are used, and say 2 minutes of each are performed, then this takes performance up to around 30 minutes. This is a rough figure depending heavily on how much of each song is used. What does it take to put a smile on those Year 6 faces? Maybe a large dose of great music and some equally great performances .... by the staff?! The lengths teachers will go to - or are we all really just frustrated rock stars underneath?! Easy to produce, great fun to do! Sample Text: Music 1 Yesterday – Beatles (Children file into places, singing as they come in and become seated; at the end of the song, all sit disconsolately, hanging heads in misery; group of teachers stand to one side, listening to their students) Teacher 1: What a beautiful song! Teacher 2: But why the long faces? Teacher 3: Why so sad? Teacher 4: What have you got to feel sad about? Teacher 5: This is your last day at school! Wouldn’t a better choice of music be …? Music 2 School’s Out – Alice Cooper (Teachers sing and perform really ‘over the top’ version of song; students look on in horror) Child 1: And they called us ‘sad’? Child 2: ‘Sad’ has to be the understatement of the year! Child 3: I’d say more like – ‘tragedy’! Teacher 6: (Beaming from ear to ear) Now you’re talking! Music 3 Tragedy – Steps or Bee Gees (Teachers again sing and perform totally ‘over the top’ version of the song; students increasingly alarmed) Child 4: Stop! Stop! Have you all taken leave of your senses? Teacher 7: Well, this is supposed to be a leavers’ assembly, isn’t it? (All teachers fall about laughing) Child 5: But guess what? It’s supposed to be our leavers’ assembly, not yours! Child 6: Yeah! You’ll all still be here this time next year! Child 7: Not like us! Child 8: We’re the ones leaving! Child 9: Not you! Teacher 8: So, why aren’t you celebrating? Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: It’s Good to be Me Leavers Assembly Leavers Assembly for Year 6s Our School’s Got Talent Leavers Assembly Olympics Leavers Assembly

Australian Assembly In celebration of Australia Day - joint narration by Pom and Swagman - an interesting mix of language and culture! tapping into this great country's history, geography and culture. Cast Size 24 but easily adjustable up or down (information can be split up between several more children taking cast size to 30) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time – this does not include music suggestions and ‘song performances’ Following is a review from publisher contact: A short play giving a lot of information about the land down under: some history, some wildlife, some music and some facts and figures to round it all out. This is another well-presented assembly from Sue Russell. There is the usual large cast size to accommodate a class group, with the many, small parts offset by having the two main characters who are onstage for the majority of the production. There are regular musical interludes to add interest, and any passages that contain recitation of facts, figures or histories are balanced by changing the speakers or having the characters react – I particularly liked the Swagman complaining there was too much dry information. To conclude: a bright, fast overview of a big, big country and a good introduction to a school topic. Sample Text Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Australia. (Swagman strolls nonchalantly onto stage, looking around and ‘sizing' everyone up, before going over to Narrator, who is eyeing him cautiously) Swagman: G'day, mate! So what's all this about? Narrator: (Politely) Begging your pardon .. Swagman: (Interrupting) Ah! A Pom! Now how did I guess? Narrator: (Defensively) Something to do with me speaking the Queen's English? And as one of her loyal servants Swagman: (Interrupting) Don't tell me! You're gonna tell all these good folks about life ‘Down Under'? Well, allow me to help out a little. (Turning to Cast) What says you to us livening things up a little around here? (Whole cast nods enthusiastically, relaxing former ‘standing on ceremony' posture) (Swagman walks over to CD player and turns on ‘Down Under' - chorus, children singing and dancing, whilst Narrator looks on in horror) Music 2 - Down Under by Men at Work Narrator: (To Cast) Cut! (To Swagman, irately) Hey! Just what do you think you are doing? I'm in charge here! Swagman: No worries, mate! No need to chuck a wobbly! I was only trying to help. (Pointing to Cast) These guys and Sheilas just looked like they'd enjoy a little taste of the real Oz. Narrator: What? As delivered by a .. by a ... Swagman: Swagman, that's me! And here (taking off bag from his back) .. Meet Matilda!

World Cup Rugby PRIDE Assembly - written by Sue Russell aka plays-r-ussell Cast of 25 Duration: around 15 - 20 minutes reading time not including ‘suggested’ music This Class Play sets out to demonstrate the importance of P.R.I.D.E. - an acronym for Positive attitude; Respect for yourself and others; the ability to make Intelligent decisions; time to Dream; and not forgetting all the Effort that needs to be put in - in all walks of life. It provides the perfect way of demonstrating what it takes to make it in life - the kind of success story all children can aspire to. Also available as set of 5 guided reading play scripts. (This script was originally inspired by The Celtics basketball team, in Boston - featuring 17 basketball players, 1 coach, 3 fans, 3 dancers plus mascot but I have adapted it for use by Rugby World Cup, Football World Cup and the Olympics - all available as separate scripts .. with modifications according to sport)

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Anglo-Saxon School Assembly or Class Play Cast Size - 30 - easily adapted up or down. Approximate duration: Around 15 to 20 minutes. Ever wondered about the origins of your birth place? Why is it something-ton and not something-ham? Or why archaeologists get so excited over some old clay pots …or nails? Also available set of 5 guided reading play scripts plus quizzes - Introduction, Anglo-Saxon Life, Sutton Hoo Discovery, Beowulf, and Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table SAMPLE TEXT Arch 1: Look at this! Phosphate remains. That means there must have been a body here when the ship was buried…so this was actually a grave! Arch 2: And with all this treasure we’ve found, the person buried here must have been important! 4. GHOSTBUSTERS THEME MUSIC (Ghosthunters team rush on, searching for ghost) Narrator: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Who called you lot? Ghosthunter 1: Haven’t you heard? There’s a ghost on the loose! Goes by the name of Raewald, King of East Anglia. Died about 625 AD but forgot to take his Kwells (holds up packet of sea sickness tablets) before being buried with his ship. Ghosthunter 2: Yes, it’s all very fine having all this gold and silver …but not much good to you if you’re prone to a bit of the ol’ sea sickness. Ghosthunter 3: We’re here to give him his tablets so he can at last …Rest In Peace. Narrator: Could I suggest you’d stand a better chance of catching this sea-sick ghost if you were a little quieter (beckoning them all off stage). Wait here! TEACHING ‘COVERAGE’ Unit 6B Anglo-Saxon Assembly (i) Where Anglo-Saxons came from (ii) Timeline: 410 AD – 1066 (iii) Alfred the Great (iv) Runic’ alphabet (v) Origins of our days of the week (vi) Place names – Anglo Saxon origins (vii) Living conditions (viii) Sutton Hoo: archaeological finds and background

Holi Hindu Spring Festival of Colours Assembly A riot! An explosion of colour! Well, not quite. It's those wretched Health and Safety Regulations spoiling all the fun again. That, and a teacher who's prime concern is not to upset the caretaker. But never fear, fun usually succeeds at finding a way through - and there is a great deal of Bollywood dancing and laughter along the way! Oh plus some facts behind the festival of course! Cast of 30. Duration 10 - 20 minutes depending on amount of music/dancing Sample Text: Narrator: Er wait a minute! Don’t go spilling any of that blue paint on this floor! Krishna: But that’s the fun of Holi! Radha: Everyone does it! Narrator: Not on my watch, they don’t! (Narrator ushers Krishna, his mother and Radha back to their seats) Narrator: (Sighing heavily) Phew! That was a close one! Things could have got well out of hand then! (To Group 1) Come on children! Let’s hear some more about Holi! Child 11: Only if we can have a bit more dancing, first! Narrator: (Spluttering) But, but … that’s blackmail! (Group 1 all nod their heads) Narrator: Oh, very well. I don’t suppose it can do any harm! (Enter group of dancers) Music 3 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music) Narrator: (Applauding) Bravo! Well done! (To audience) You know something? This dancing is rather good, isn’t it? (Exit dancers) Child 1: Well of course it is! Holi is all about joy and fun Child 2: And that’s what dancing is about! Child 3: (Muttering) That and the paint throwing! Narrator: Now! Now! We’ve been over that! Child 4: So, we can have some more dancing, instead? (Narrator gestures dancers, who’ve got to their feet again, to sit down) Narrator: In a minute! Oh my! What is it with everyone this morning? What do you think this is? Child 5: A festival? Child 6: (Indignantly) That’s what it’s meant to be! Child 7: A celebration of good over evil! Child 8: A celebration of the start of Spring! Child 9: The end of winter! (Everyone cheers) Child 10: It’s about love and getting on with everyone. Child 11: And giving everyone what they want and enjoy. (To Narrator) More dancing? Narrator: (Sighing) Oh very well! (Enter dancers) Music 4 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music – Narrator joining in at the side) Narrator: (Applauding) Oh bravo! (To audience) It is rather catching, isn’t it?

Ancient Greek Myths Odysseus and the Cyclops Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 to 15 minutes reading time (around 20 with addition of music) One of several Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell. A set of 5 Ancient Greek Myths is also available in Guided Reading format, each with 6 speakers, and its own quiz. Sample Text: Poseidon: Oh I’m sure it is! So you stopped off at my son’s island for a bit of a holiday? (To audience) I’ve heard the Greek islands are a favourite holiday destination. Island hopping, I believe you call it? Odysseus: Well, that was hardly our intention. We wanted to get home. Ancient Greek 6: But stopping off for a bit of a rest did make sense. Ancient Greek 7: Though it didn’t turn out to be quite the holiday we expected! Ancient Greek 8: Stuck in the back of that cave (Enter Polyphemus, finding his way to the group, with the aid of a white stick) Polyphemus: (Bellowing loudly) My home! Ancient Greek 9: Hardly the best that Airbnb have to offer! Polyphemus: (Bellowing angrily) Pardon? There’s nothing wrong with my cave I’ll have you know! Ancient Greek 10: Nothing at all – until you get your head bashed against one of the walls! I was the first to suffer at your hands Ancient Greek 11: And I the second! Ancient Greek 1: And I the third! Ancient Greek 2: And I the fourth Ancient Greek 3: And I the fifth Ancient Greek 4: And I the sixth! Poseidon: (Tutting) Son! Really! That was rather greedy, even by your standards! Polyphemus: (Muttering sulkily) But I didn’t eat them all in one go! Odysseus: (Sarcastically) Oh that was very good of you! Polyphemus: Well, thank you! Poseidon: No, I think he’s being sarcastic, son! The lowest form of wit. But something tells me, not quite low enough for you! Odysseus: (To Polyphemus) So come on! What have you got to say in your defence? Surely you don’t want your old man thinking you have the table manners of a monster? Polyphemus: (Spluttering) Well, I er, Ancient Greek 5: You just fancied a change from lamb stew, right? Polyphemus: (Beaming) Oh that’s right! Indeed I did! Ancient Greek 6: I expect lamb gets pretty boring night after night? Polyphemus: Oh you’re right! Ancient Greek 7: So we made a pleasant change to your diet? Polyphemus: (Slapping his large belly, fondly) Well, I’d hardly call it a diet!

Ancient Greeks Theseus and the Minotaur Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading (this does not include music suggestions) Monsters and heroes - not the easiest cast to deal with! But then Poseidon is more than man - sorry, make that - god enough to take this lot on! Also available (as separate purchase): This assembly plus Guided Reading Script plus Quiz (one of large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell) Sample Text: Music 1 – El Matador Music (Cast file into hall, in order of speaking, taking seats along two rows of fifteen facing the audience) Poseidon: Welcome to this tale about (Enter Theseus) Music 2 Holding Out for a Hero – Bonnie Tyler (chorus) (Theseus strides up and down, bracing his muscles and striking various ‘heroic postures’) Theseus: A hero! That’s me, Theseus! (Theseus gestures to cast to cheer) (Whole cast cheers) Poseidon: And (Enter Minotaur) Music 3 Deeper Underground – Jamiroquai (chorus) (Minotaur ‘skulks’ up and down, glaring at both cast and audience) Minotaur: Me! The Minotaur! (Minotaur ‘paws the ground’, snorts in anger and glares at cast who all boo) Poseidon: Hmm. Quite a split! In fact Theseus: (Interrupting) You could say, Good versus Evil! Poseidon: (Glaring at Theseus) I could! But I’m not going to, if it’s all the same to you! (To audience, aside) These heroes! Think they’re God’s Gift! Theseus: Well, you may not have regarded me as a gift (pauses) Dad! (Pauses) But my other father did! (Enter Aegeus) Aegeus: Ah Theseus, my son! There you are! (To audience) I hope you haven’t been listening too much to this god, here (pointing at Poseidon). Gods! Way too much time on their hands and far too many off spring to show for it! Poseidon: What was that? Aegeus: Oh nothing, Poseidon! Just commenting on how creatively you fill your time. Truly awesome! Poseidon: Well, as God of the Seas I guess I am rather (pauses) what did you say? Oh, awesome, that’s right! A shame not everyone was in such awe of me as you! (Enter Minos) (Whole cast hisses and boos) Minos: (Angrily) Hey! That’s no way to greet the King of Crete! Aegeus: (Contemptuously) Pah! Some king you were! Minos: (Laughing) Huh! And you were any better, oh great King of Athens? (Pauses) Now, just remind me. Who had to send human sacrifices to who? Aegeus: (Exclaiming) Why, you evil, wicked, cruel, vindictive .. Poseidon: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. I think we get it. You two didn’t like each other much, did you? Aegeus: Oh I’ve barely started.

Winter Assembly for Key Stage One Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 10 - 15 minutes. This length can be extended by the addition of suggested poems. Brrrr! .... surely there's a bit more to be said about winter than this?! Well, if left to our cast it would just be the sound of snoring - any excuse to follow the lead of that hibernating hedgehog. Fortunately, you can always rely on a bit of Disney to revive flagging spirits - plus some snowball fights and a few words from our rockin robin! This is one of a set of plays on The Seasons - all available as separate purchases. Sample Text (Enter group of children all dressed in winter clothes) Child 23 – 27: (Together) We’re all warm! Narrator: And how is that? Child 23: I have a warm woolly hat! Child 24: I have a warm woolly scarf! Child 25: I have warm woolly gloves! Child 26: I have warm woolly socks and welly boots! Child 27: And we all have Child 23 – 27: Warm woolly coats to keep us warm! (Exit group of children) Narrator: Hmm! Warm and woolly seems to work! Music 5 Rockin Robin – Michael Jackson (Enter Robin/Child 28 dancing to song that is sung by rest of the cast) Narrator: (Applauding) Well, that was very upbeat! (To robin) You don’t seem to have any problems with the cold weather! Robin: Well, it’s not always easy, you know! And I am always grateful to those kind people that leave me food out in their gardens! Narrator: Well, you are our favourite national bird Robin: And those Christmas cards just wouldn’t be the same without me, right? Narrator: Right! (Exit Robin) (Sound of loud snoring, from the cast) Narrator: Hey! What’s going on? Music 6 All I have to do is dream – Everly Brothers (Optional excerpt – first couple of bars) (Enter very sleepy hedgehog/Child 29) Hedgehog: (Rubbing eyes) Oh! Where’s my bed? I must have sleepwalked off, by mistake!

Autumn Assembly for Key Stage I One of a set of assemblies on the Seasons. Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down. It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration - around 10 minutes but can be extended with inclusion of list of suggested poems Swallows, squirrels, deer, bats, .... children! Our narrator certainly has his work cut out keeping this assembly under control! Ever tried keeping a hibernating hedgehog or two sleepy dormice awake? Or silencing a flock of Brent Geese? Just two of the tasks facing our, as always, seriously challenged narrator! Sample Text: (Dormice curl up together and drop off to sleep) Narrator: Hey you two! Not yet! Wake up! (Both dormice yawn and stretch sleepily) Dormouse 1: Is it April yet? Dormouse 2: I think I’ll leave it to May this year! Dormice: (Together) Yeah! Let’s have a lie in! Narrator: You most certainly will not! Do I look like a Dormouse babysitter? Be off with you! (Exit Bats and Dormice) (Enter Hedgehog, making loud snuffling noises; he collects up some of the leaves left behind by the children, makes a nest of them and lies down in the middle) Narrator: Aha! And who do we have here? Our first hibernating hedgehog! Hedgehog: (Huffily getting out ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and placing it next to his nest) Can’t you read? Narrator: You’re a bit early! It’s not November yet! Hedgehog: So? (Putting on night cap) (Rubbing tummy) I’ve done enough eating! I’m ready for sleep!

Spring Assembly This is the first of a series of Seasons Assemblies written for Key Stage I. This first one covers 20 plus 'first signs of spring' and includes a reference to the first chapter of Wind in the Willows, with Mole and Rat extolling the joys of the riverbank! Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes including poems and music suggestions Sample Text: (Young animals ‘run rings around’ Narrator who gets increasingly exasperated) Narrator: (Sighing) Huh! I was forgetting those young animals! (Narrator jumping out of their way) Narrator: Oh dear! Is it just me or does it suddenly seem a bit crowded around here? Mother Rabbit: But didn’t you say, you loved Spring? Narrator: Oh yes! But .. (Bunnies and lambs keep jumping up at Narrator) Narrator: (To Mother Rabbit and Mother Sheep) Could you not keep your offspring under slightly better control? (Mother Rabbit and Mother Sheep ‘round up’ their offspring and return to their seats, scowling) Narrator: Oh dear! And there I was saying how much I loved Spring! But it’s not just about baby animals, you know! (Enter Child 6 dressed as Mole and Child 7 as Rat) Narrator: Ah! Two of my favourite characters from The Wind in the Willows! Mole: (Bowing) I’m Mole! Very pleased to meet you! Rat: And I’m Rat! Known as Ratty to my friends

Circus Assembly for Key Stage One Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Role of Narrator taken by Class Teacher. Duration: 10 - 15 minutes This script is suitable for both upper and lower Key Stage I. Whereas the first half is on the history of circuses, there are lots of jokes to cheer up our Sad Clown for younger children in the second half - plus ample opportunities for ‘the performance of a lifetime’! This script is a kind of template - it can be used for any size class and be expanded to any length of time. Oh, and did I mention Health and Safety?! Sample Text: Fire breather: Look at what fire breathers do! (Fire breather breathes out fire) (Everyone gasps and applauds; Narrator rushes on with fire extinguisher) Narrator: Hey! Health and safety! Health and safety! Stop this now! Sword swallower: And then there’s my act (holding up sword) Narrator: (Intervening quickly) I have no idea what you intend doing with that sword – but not here, not now! Sword swallower: But I was only going to swallow it (pauses) like this! Narrator: (Shrieking) Stop now! That’s way too dangerous! (Whole cast groans) Sad Clown: You see? Always some health and safety spoilsport around these days to ruin our fun! (Circus juggler walks up and down, juggling) Narrator: Now, that’s more like it! Plenty of skill, no danger! (Stilt walker walks up and down) Narrator: (Applauding) Bravo! (Contortionist and ‘Strong man’ perform, Narrator watching anxiously) (Everyone gasps and applauds; Narrator rushes on with First Aid Kit) Narrator: This really won’t do! What have I said about health and safety? (Lion roars loudly)

Pinocchio Pantomime A story of redemption and self-discovery – with one small twist – well, maybe not so small when the whole plot hinges on it! NB: This script is the Pinocchio class play adapted as a pantomime i.e. with addition of jokes, a larger than life Fairy as the Dame; and the script adjusted accordingly. Music: there is quite an extensive playlist – 15! The choice of these numbers is totally discretionary. Cast of 24 plus Duration Reading time – around 30 minutes not including music or jokes at the end. 4 scenes of approximately 5 - 10 minutes each – more with addition of jokes at the end. Total performance time: around 40 – 50 minutes plus, depending on how much music is used and how many jokes told. The performance could be reduced substantially with omission of both music and jokes. Sample Text: Narrator: Ah! There you are! At last! The good fairy! We’ve been waiting for you! Fairy: Oh, you mean this script needs something good in it? Well, I couldn’t agree with you more! (To audience) What a load of rubbish, eh? I’ve been sitting out in the wings (Twirling, showing off her wings) Beautiful, aren’t they? About time you all had a treat! This has to rate as one of the worst pantos Narrator: (Interrupting furiously) Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! So where have you been, all this time we have been performing our ‘oh so terrible pantomime’? Fairy: Where have I been, darling? (Twirling) Do you really need to ask? (Pauses) Well, getting ready of course! A fairy must always look her absolute best at all times, especially this time of year! Narrator: (Aside to audience) Strikes me this fairy could spend a little more time down the gym! Fairy: (Exploding) I beg your pardon! I trust you are not suggesting I lose any of (pauses as she tries to find her waist) this exquisite figure? Narrator: Well, it might have helped you get here a bit quicker! Things have just been going from bad to worse, here on stage! Fairy: Oh, you mean the Pinocchio thing? Narrator: Er yes, it is his story we are telling here today! Fairy: Ah well, then. My timing is perfect (pauses as she minces over to the audience) … as ever! Here I am! Narrator: Just in the nick of time! We so need you – or rather, Pinocchio does! Fairy: Yes, I have been watching this rather sad story unravel. That puppet certainly needs all the help he can get! Narrator: But it has to be the right kind of help. He’s been receiving an unfortunate amount of the wrong type. Fairy: What do you mean? Narrator: Well, I’m afraid we have a slight glitch in the plot. You see, one of the good guys has turned bad! Fairy: Oh no! That is bad news! And who might that be?

If by Rudyard Kipling Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes not including music suggestions. Unlikely as this may seem but this classic poem by Rudyard Kipling manages to bring together 20 readers and 8 rappers - along with one somewhat incredulous Narrator and poet! This assembly includes both original material and ... well, who can argue that the rappers aren't themselves a pretty original lot - to say nothing of the material they produce! If the language of the original If seems a little dated now, take heart from what can still be gleaned from it, in the right enthusiastic hands! Sample Text Rapper 4: So I think it’s fair to say Rapper 5: It’s all a bit iffy! (All rappers laugh) Narrator: Now, now people! A little respect for our great poet here, if you please! Rapper 6: Oh! Absolutely no disrespect intended, bro! Rapper 7: No, we were just making the point that none of what we are about to say is a given! Narrator: Pardon? Rapper 8: It’s all about making your own choices. Rapper 1: Nobody can make you good! Rapper 2: That has to come from you! Rapper 3: And that’s not always easy! Rapper 4: Take that first couple of lines (Narrator points to Reader 1) Reader 1: If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you Rapper 4: Sound familiar? Rapper 5: In this crazy world where everything has to be ‘now’, how many people do you know who can stay calm under pressure? Other poems converted into plays by Sue Russell: • Smugglers Song – Rudyard Kipling • The Highwayman – Alfred Noyes Also available – a large collection of alternative Shakespeare and fairy tale scripts plus • Take a Book – Different Genres of Writing Assembly • Great British Writers Assembly. This short small cast assembly - 6 speakers (with adaptations for whole class) focuses on the writers *Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling and their books. • Roald Dahl Assembly

Teeth and Eating Assembly or Class Play Years 3 & 4 This is one of three scripts written on ‘The Body’. The other two are: The Skeleton and Muscles Assembly - Years 3 & 4 & Healthy Living Assembly - Years 5 & 6 Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 20 minutes including music choices. Once again, our narrator has his/her work cut out, vying with a dentist, a ‘super athlete’, a ‘Sweet Gang’ and of course … a whole crowd of chattering teeth! Sample Script: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on (Sound of dentist’s drill) (Narrator walks over to dentist, standing over patient, with drill in hand) Narrator: (Shouting) Er, excuse me! (Drilling stops and dentist looks round towards narrator) Dentist: (Angrily) Yes! Did you want something? Surely you can see I’m rather busy here! Narrator: (Huffily) I’m sure you are! But so am I! I happen to be trying to hold an assembly this morning and, well, I just can’t do that with you drilling! Patient: (Leaping off chair) Oh that’s fine! I can always come back another day! (Dentist places patient firmly back in the chair) Dentist: Oh no you don’t! You are not going anywhere – not until I have finished! (To narrator) Now, if you don’t mind (Dentist picks up drill and moves towards patient) Narrator: No! Stop! (Dentist stops) Narrator: I can give you a very good reason why you should stop what you are doing. Well, for a short time, anyway. Dentist: Oh yes? Well, come on, then. This had better be good. Narrator: Well, wouldn’t you agree that prevention is better than cure? Dentist: You mean, looking after your teeth rather than me fixing them? Narrator: Correct! And our job here this morning is to educate everyone about just that! Dentist: Ah! Now you’re talking! (To Patient) You might want to listen to this. It could save you future trips to my surgery!

Oliver Twist – A Play Based on the Novel by Charles Dickens Cast of 15 speaking parts; or Cast of 30 if including non-speaking parts Duration: Around 15 minutes not including song suggestions Oliver Twist, following on from the popular Christmas Carol, is the second in a series of Charles Dickens adaptations – the others being David Copperfield, Great Expectations and A Tale of Two Cities. Suitable from age 10 upwards, this is a set of scripts written with Key Stage III in mind. I will be adding further teaching resources in the near future. It is my aim to make these great classics accessible to young people and adults alike. Whilst sticking to the original story, this one has a much happier ending for everyone; and has Fagin ‘putting our Narrator right’ on what it was actually like to live in Victorian England. Sample Text: (Enter Fagin, marching over to Narrator) Fagin: (Threateningly) Criminal classes, eh? Oh, and I suppose you’d know a lot about what it was like to live in Victorian times, would you? Narrator: (Spluttering) Well, er, now you come to mention it (pauses) no, not really. Fagin: Well, allow me to fill you in. Let’s start with how hard it could be especially if you were poor. Narrator: (Huffily) Well, I’ve no doubt there was social welfare for those who needed it. Fagin: (Exploding) Social welfare? I’ll show you social welfare! Come with me. My, are you going to have your eyes opened! Music 2 – Food Glorious Food Scene 1 The Workhouse (Fagin takes Narrator to one side as workhouse inmates line up, holding bowls and spoons, with Mr. Bumble standing at the front, ladling out the gruel; Oliver is last in line) Narrator: (To Fagin) Why are these children dressed in rags? And why are they so filthy? And what is that terrible smell? Fagin: So many questions! Well, to start with, those rags are all they have! Appearances aren’t too important when you are just trying to stay alive! Narrator: But where are their parents? Fagin: (Laughing) They have no parents! They’re all orphans. They have nowhere to go but the workhouse! (Pauses) And before you ask, that’s gruel they’re getting in those bowls! Pretty disgusting but, like I said, keeps them alive. Better that than dying on the streets. (Oliver takes his bowl and sits with the rest; then gets up and stands in front of Mr. Bumble a second time) Also available: Victorian Assembly/Class Play; and Meet the Victorians – set of guided reading scripts.

Feeling Sad Assembly or Class Play This script was largely ‘prompted by’ Time to Talk Day Thursday February 4th - a joint initiative run by MIND and Rethink - addressing the taboo around mental health - people still tend to feel uncomfortable talking about it. Its Children’s Mental Health Week 3 - 9 February. So I am reducing a number of my ‘mental health related’ scripts to mark the occasion As this was written for primary schools, the language is of course simple as is the message - emphasizing that sadness is part of life, something we should all talk about and not feel embarrassed about. I have followed this script up with one for secondary schools/adults - Good to Talk - a conversation between two people. (In 2 Speaker Scripts section of website) Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 5 - 10 minutes Sample Text: Music 1 Everybody Hurts - REM (Children file into assembly, taking seats in order of speaking, along two rows of 15 seats, facing audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Feeling Sad. (Enter Clown) Clown: Hey! What’s up, people? (Nobody smiling) Hey! Time to turn those frowns, upside down! Narrator: Actually, I’m going to ask you to take your seat again. (Narrator leads Clown back to seat) Narrator: Fooling around, making people laugh – there’s a time and place for that. But not now. (Clown jumps up again) Clown: But these are children! They need to be laughing and smiling! (Narrator patiently leads Clown back to seat again) Narrator: No, they don’t. You see, being happy and jolly is fine. But so too is being sad. (Clown jumps up) Clown: But nobody wants to be sad! (Spluttering) That’s …. That’s just wrong! (Loud sigh from Child 1) Child 1: Oh do please sit down and perhaps we can explain. (Clown reluctantly returns to seat) Child 1: We are all sad from time to time. Child 2: It’s part of life. Child 3: It’s part of the human condition. Child 4: And you know what? It’s actually OK to feel sad. Child 5: Sometimes, however, we feel we have to hide our emotions. Child 6: Pretend we’re OK – when we’re not. Child 7: It’s much better if you’re feeling sad to share it with someone.

A Tribute to Queen Elizabeth II and A Celebration of Her Life It was with a sense of shock I heard the news of Queen Elizabeth’s death, early yesterday evening, September 8th, 2022. Even though she was 96 years old, she was always there as a constant in our lives - somehow invincible, an eternal presence. And I, like many others I suspect, feel a deep sense of loss. I offer the following script as tribute to an amazing lady. Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration: around 15 minutes Sample Text: Speaker 24: Like at the celebration of the Queen Mother’s one hundredth birthday. What a party that was for the nation! Speaker 25: Sadly, her death followed all too soon, in 2002 with that of the queen’s sister, Margaret. Speaker 26: But then along came the 2002 Golden Jubilee – another grand celebration of fifty years’ rule – the queen at seventy-six years of age showing no signs of slowing down. Speaker 27: Then two lovely weddings! The wedding of Charles and Camilla in 2005 Speaker 28: And the wedding of William and Kate in 2011; the queen now at 85 enjoying surely one of the happiest days of her life. Narrator: It is wonderful to look back and see her beautiful smile on such happy family occasions. Speaker 29: But let us not forget what an important role she played elsewhere. For example, making that state visit to Northern Ireland, the first of its kind by a British monarch. Narrator: Indeed. Although her power as a constitutional monarch was limited, she proved a brilliant role model for our country, personifying all the best of the United Kingdom on the world stage. She was a shining example – in the case of Northern Ireland, of such qualities as reconciliation. Speaker 1: And then another celebration in 2012! This time, the Diamond Jubilee – sixty years on the throne!

Roald Dahl School Assembly or Class Play Cast size: The small speaking cast of 6 can be increased to include the whole class by adding a supporting cast of characters taken from the five books. September 13th is Roald Dahl Day – this year it is also his centenary. To celebrate this great writer, I, Sue Russell have written an Assembly which attempts to capture just some of the man's genius. It is just a short assembly, looking at 5 of his works - The Magic Finger, BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts; but in looking at these books again, I for one was reminded of Dahl's amazing ability to create the most bizarre characters, and situations .. out of nothing. He was, I think, a genius and his memory stays vividly alive through his numerous brilliant books. The play has a small speaking cast - teacher (narrator) plus 5 students, who are asked to pick their favourite author (Roald Dahl - no surprises there!) and favourite books. These are The Magic Finger, The BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts. The supporting cast i.e. characters taken from these books, is left to the teacher's discretion i.e. depending on how many children there are in the class. Different 'favourites' could obviously be chosen and added to the ones 'my five' chose; and I have similarly left out extracts from the books, plus musical excerpts from the movies which could be added. This assembly can thus be expanded upon in a way to suit the individual class and their Dahl preferences. I hope I have provided a good starting point! If you are interested in looking at more great writers from Britain, I have written a Great British Writers Assembly which, along with Dahl, features the works of C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling. A good resource to have during National Children's Book Week, 1-7 October. Extract Lucy: The Giraffe, the Pelly and Me. Teacher: And why did you choose that one? Lucy: I loved the animal characters in it, including the monkey who isn't mentioned in the title! The three of them - the giraffe, the pelican and the monkey - make up a window cleaning gang, the giraffe acting as a ladder because of his magically long neck; the pelican acting as the bucket, with his special ‘Patented beak' and the monkey acting as the cleaner.