Roald Dahl School Assembly or Class Play Cast size: The small speaking cast of 6 can be increased to include the whole class by adding a supporting cast of characters taken from the five books. September 13th is Roald Dahl Day – this year it is also his centenary. To celebrate this great writer, I, Sue Russell have written an Assembly which attempts to capture just some of the man's genius. It is just a short assembly, looking at 5 of his works - The Magic Finger, BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts; but in looking at these books again, I for one was reminded of Dahl's amazing ability to create the most bizarre characters, and situations .. out of nothing. He was, I think, a genius and his memory stays vividly alive through his numerous brilliant books. The play has a small speaking cast - teacher (narrator) plus 5 students, who are asked to pick their favourite author (Roald Dahl - no surprises there!) and favourite books. These are The Magic Finger, The BFG, The Giraffe the Pelly and Me, Revolting Rhymes and Dirty Beasts. The supporting cast i.e. characters taken from these books, is left to the teacher's discretion i.e. depending on how many children there are in the class. Different 'favourites' could obviously be chosen and added to the ones 'my five' chose; and I have similarly left out extracts from the books, plus musical excerpts from the movies which could be added. This assembly can thus be expanded upon in a way to suit the individual class and their Dahl preferences. I hope I have provided a good starting point! If you are interested in looking at more great writers from Britain, I have written a Great British Writers Assembly which, along with Dahl, features the works of C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling. A good resource to have during National Children's Book Week, 1-7 October. Extract Lucy: The Giraffe, the Pelly and Me. Teacher: And why did you choose that one? Lucy: I loved the animal characters in it, including the monkey who isn't mentioned in the title! The three of them - the giraffe, the pelican and the monkey - make up a window cleaning gang, the giraffe acting as a ladder because of his magically long neck; the pelican acting as the bucket, with his special ‘Patented beak' and the monkey acting as the cleaner.

Great Artists Assembly or Class Play - Key Stage I Bruegel and Lowry Script Cast Size - 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes depending on time spent on children's own artwork. (There is a section of the script dedicated to children showing and describing their own work - this section can be omitted thus reducing duration to around 5 - 10 minutes) Sample Script Bruegel: Oh well! Let me tell you now! I had to disguise myself as a peasant Child 12: Why? Bruegel: Oh so that I could see what it was like …. being a peasant! Child 13: And what was it like – being a peasant? Bruegel: Well, I try to show that in my paintings. Teacher: You see, children. Up to this time, only kings and queens and people with lots of money were painted. Narrator: Lucky for us Bruegel came along – and showed us how the poor people lived! (Bruegel goes back to work at his easel) (Lowry looks up from his work, and stands up) Lowry: So did I! Narrator: Pardon? Lowry: I also showed what it was like to be a worker! (Narrator walks over and holds up Lowry painting, to show cast and audience) Child 14: (To Teacher) That’s like the pictures you showed us, Miss! Teacher: Quite so! Child 15: They show us how people lived in the industrial cities of England. Child 16: Smoking factories Child 17: Long streets Child 18: Long people! Narrator: Pardon? Child 19: Oh, he means – the people look a bit like matchstick men! Lowry: (Laughing) That was my style! This script is one of the Famous People Series based on the lives of significant individuals in the past who have contributed to national and international achievements, comparing aspects of life in different periods. This list of ‘greats’ includes: · Queens - Elizabeth I and Victoria · Explorers - Christopher Columbus and Neil Armstrong · Inventors - William Caxton and Tim Berners-Lee · Women: (i) In Civil Rights - Rosa Parks and Emily Davison (ii) Nurses - Florence Nightingale, Mary Seacole and Edith Cavell. I am happy to write on alternative individuals as per my 'write on request' service - so please drop me a line on sue@plays-r-ussell.com

Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly With a panel of judges drawn from teaching staff and school students, is there any possibility of justice - when it comes to judging the contestants?! Cast Size: 15 – 30 (For larger cast – up to 90 – see Production Notes) Duration: Around 20-30 minutes (to up to an hour – see Production Notes) Sample Text Music 1 - John Williams: Summon the Heroes (Everyone files in and takes up places) Head Teacher: Good morning and welcome to our Leavers Assembly for Year 6s. I have great pleasure in (Sound of ‘ranting’ from off stage, as Rant and Heck ‘explode’ onto stage) Rant: (Hysterically) Us? Today? Presenting a school version of Britain’s Got Talent? Heck: Why, yes! Oh heck! Didn’t I mention this to you? Rant: (Exploding) Didn’t I mention this to you? Well, of course you didn’t! Do you seriously think I would have agreed? Heck: (Spluttering) But… but… Rant: But… but… nothing! You’ve talked me into more than enough daft situations in the past – but not today! Heck: (Turning to Head Teacher) Oh heck! This probably isn’t what you were hoping for? Rant: And who’s this? Head Teacher: I’m the head teacher of …… Primary School. (Advances towards Rant with outstretched hand) So pleased to meet you! Allow me to introduce you, Rant (pointing to Rant) and you, Heck (pointing to Heck) to our audience assembled here today! You’re just in time to kick off our 2016 Leavers Assembly! Rant: (Incredulously) Kick off? Kick off, did you say? Well, if it’s Wayne Rooney … (pauses and mutters) …hmm, make that Lionel Messi - that you want to ‘kick off’ things today – you’re out of luck! Heck: No! No! He doesn’t need an international football star! He asked for us! Head Teacher: But if it’s too much trouble … Heck: Oh heck! Of course it’s not! Rant and Heck at your service! Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly • It’s Good to be Me Leavers Assembly • Leavers Assembly for Year 6s

India Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - minimum 10 minutes reading time - this, as explained in Production Notes, could be increased to 30 minutes plus The cast (should that be caste?!) of this Indian Assembly or Class Play is anything but equal with the appearance of three gods - two with 4 arms and the other with 4 heads - which one is the narrator supposed to address? Just one of the many problems facing our narrator - the main one being sheer volume of music, colour, joy and .. well everything that makes India such a vibrant country! Sample Text: Music 2 (Shiva dances across ‘the stage’) (Narrator tries to stop him but is confused by the number of arms – four) Narrator: Er, em, excuse me … but who are you and what are you doing? Shiva: What am I doing? Isn’t it obvious? I’m dancing, of course! Narrator: Well, I think we can all see that. But who are you? Shiva: (Exploding) Who am I? Who am I? Narrator: Well, if you put it like that – yes, who are you? (Whole cast gasps in horror) (Child 7 goes over to Narrator) Child 7: (Aside) Surely you know who this is? Narrator: (Irritably) Well, do you really think I’d be asking if I did? Child 7: It’s Shiva – the Destroyer! (Narrator gasps) Narrator: Oh no! Not that god with the power of life and death? Child 7: That’s the one! Narrator: (To Shiva) Oh I am most dreadfully sorry! I had no idea that it was you, Shiva! Shiva: Oh I’ll forgive you! I guess I do look (waving arms around) pretty ‘armless! Narrator: Well, I wouldn’t say that! I mean, I think I counted … four arms? Shiva: Oh that’s nothing! When you compare it with number of names I have! Narrator: And they are? (Holds up fingers to start counting on) Now, let’s see. Starting with Shiva … Shiva: Er, I don’t think we have time to run through the others – there are over one thousand of them! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’. Other Indian scripts: Divali and the Story of Rama & Sita (as a play within a play - a little like Midsummer Night’s Dream!) plus scripts on Gandhi and on the Indus Valley Civilisation.

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly or Class Play This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way. And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Sample Text Helena: You are teasing me! You still love Hermia! Lysander: How can you say such a thing? How I do repent, the tedious minutes I with her have spent! Helena: Lysander! This is not the time for bad poetry! Stop your teasing now! Lysander: But why would I not change a raven for a dove? Please, Helena! Come with me now! Let us leave hideous Hermia! Believe me (looking over at the snorting Hermia), you'd be doing me a big favor! Helena: (Sarcastically) So romantic! Men! Who'd have them? (Helena storms off) Lysander: Hmm. I can see I may need another trip to that Charm School! (Turning to Hermia) I've hung around with this one quite long enough. What did I ever see in her? What a sight! I'm off to honor Helena and to be her knight! (Exit) (Hermia wakes, screaming, from a nightmare) Hermia: Lysander! Help me! My worst nightmare ... (Frantically searching through suitcase) Please don't say I've left my make-up bag behind? Other Shakespeare scripts written by Sue Russell: Assemblies: • Macbeth • Different Midsummer Night’s Dream alternative ‘Nightmare’ versions! • Romeo & Juliet – Valentines Assembly • Romeo & Juliet in Love … Well, weren’t they? Guided Reading scripts: • Shakespeare Plays (8 mini condensed versions) • Set of 4 alternative Shakespeare scripts - Hamlet, Macbeth, Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo & Juliet (incl. detailed synopses and lesson plans) • Alternative Hamlet script plus lesson plan • Alternative Macbeth script plus lesson plan • Alternative Midsummer Night's Dream script plus lesson plan • Alternative Romeo & Juliet script plus lesson plan Alternative fairy tales – Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty – which are in the PSHE section of the website. Plus • Take a Book – Different Genres of Writing Assembly • Great British Writers Assembly. This short small cast assembly - 6 speakers (with adaptations for whole class) focuses on the writers *Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling and their books. • Roald Dahl Assembly

Leavers' Assembly for Year 6s This end of year assembly, for Year 6s, is a light-hearted romp through what they have learnt - with reference to The Big Three (Core Subjects) and not forgetting the Nine Foundation Subjects! The focus is on history (Romans through to the present day) but there are plenty of cross-curricular links along with 'mandatory' reference to Literacy and Numeracy Strategies (which ones?!) and other equally 'important' matters - such as what the dinner ladies are serving up! Cast: Written for a year group of around 90, 3 classes - speaking parts for all, but easily adaptable to smaller year group or fewer classes. Duration: The reading time is relatively short (around 10/15 minutes) so favourite poems or extracts from favourite stories could be added - for children to read or recite. Likewise with favourite Art and D.T. projects (evidence for which may still be at home!). Sample Text Shakespeare: What ho? Methinks this principal should learn a few principle facts himself! Like (embracing himself) "Some are born great, some achieve greatness" .... (pauses, pointing towards Principal) but alas "Some have greatness thrust upon them"! Principal: (Striding towards Shakespeare) Now look here, Bill! I'm the one running this show, today. You and your plays can go ... Music 5 Food Glorious Food - Oliver (Loud outburst of "Food Glorious Food" sung by Oliver and boys. Shakespeare and Drake exit, holding their ears) Principal: And who might this scruffy looking lot be? They wouldn't get into my school looking like that! Oliver: (With bowl held out to Principal) More! Please sir, can I have some more? Principal: (Yelling) More?! (Principal looks inside bowl, sniffs and pulls back in disgust) Principal: Ugh! I don't remember this being on the cafeteria menu this morning? (Line of dinner ladies file on, each holding a different dish, and offering food to Oliver, who samples each in turn) Production Directions This assembly was written for a year group consisting of 3 classes (around 30 for each). Thus, there are 3 groups: Like, Dislike and Not Sure (reflecting feelings about school); these then change into the 3 core subjects; and finally the 9 foundation subjects are added. This arrangement can be changed - dividing one class into three or two classes into three. Because of the primary focus being on history, this subject has the greatest number of speakers (52) - the other subjects just having a handful. Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly • It’s Good to be Me Leavers Assembly

It's Good To Be Me Leavers Assembly Class size - any Duration - open ended This leavers’ assembly can be tailored to any class or year group size; and likewise can be any length. I have provided a 'skeleton script' of around 5 minutes actual reading time but with numerous opportunities to add on e.g. in 'Wish' and 'Achievement' sections. There are also numerous songs/music which can be included or omitted accordingly. There is the additional fun 'option' of the schools staff 'joining in' at the end - but this is optional and can be left out. Sample Text: Child 1: What’s there to celebrate? Child 2: (Holding up Numeracy exercise book) Look at my scores in Maths. Five out of ten, six out of ten, three out of ten … Why do I bother? I’ll never get Maths! Child 3: Huh! Think that’s bad? You should see the marks I get in my spelling tests! You think you’ve got number blindness? (Child 2 nodding in agreement). Well, I’ve sure got a bad case of blindness when it comes to stringing more than two letters together! Child 4: But at least you don’t make everybody around you wish they were deaf! (Starts singing totally off key/out of tune ‘Do Ray Me Far So La Tea Doe’ set of scales. Whole cast clasps their hands over their ears). See what I mean? Teacher: (Uncovering ears) Hey? What? Oh, you mean your slight lack of musicality? Well, maybe there is just a little room for improvement. Child 5: (Holding up bits of woodwork, taped together but falling apart) And what about my latest Design Technology ‘project’? I don’t think I’ll be getting the call to build the next Olympic stadium! Teacher: (Stroking chin, reflectively) Hmm. Maybe not. Child 6: (Holding up ‘art work’ – black dot in middle of yellow paint) And I don’t suppose I’ll be in the Tate Gallery any time soon! Teacher: Ooh. I wouldn’t bank on it – have you been recently? ‘Anything goes’ there! I think your work would fit in perfectly! Child 7: (Breathlessly) But what about me? I try every year to run that one minute mile – but have I got beyond one hundred metres yet? (Starts coughing and clutching his side) Not a chance! Teacher: Enough! Enough! What is wrong with you guys? Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Leavers' Assembly for Year 6's • Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly

Africa Assembly This African Class Play covers North, South, East, West and Central Africa Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - 15 minutes without inclusion of music (playlist of 14 wonderful songs - this could double length of performance!) With so much extraordinary wildlife, is there going to be any time left for just a mention of man's part in this vast continent?! Our trusty narrator will, as always, make sure this happens - striving as always to keep his cast members under control! He does, however, have his work cut out for him with this one - keen safari members, intrepid expeditionaries, dancing tribesmen, and Ancient Egyptians … all proving more than a match for the wildlife?! Sample Text Narrator: (Aside to audience) Phew! At least we were spared the music this time Music 13 In the Jungle the Mighty Jungle – Lion King (opening lines) Narrator: Oh no! I spoke too soon! Stop! You know what we need around here? A piece of real drama! (Narrator beckons to Children 25-29 and after a quick ‘conversation’, children line up and address the audience) Child 25: We would like to perform for you a brief African Adventure. Child 26: Starring me, the great explorer David Livingstone Child 27: And me, the equally great Henry Stanley. Child 26: Er, wait a minute! Who said anything about being equally great? I was the explorer, remember? You just found me! Child 27: Huh! Famous undoubtedly only because everyone remembers my words ‘Doctor Livingstone, I presume.’! My men and I (Cheers from Child 28 & 29) We went on to take part in the biggest African expedition ever. Child 28: (Wiping his/her brow) Phew! It’s a bit hot for me, under this blazing African sun! (Loud grunt/growl) Child 28: (Screaming) Help! What was that? Child 29: Maybe one of those fierce African tribes we’ve heard so much about! Both: Run! Child 28: Livingstone can stick his expedition! Child 29: We’re off home! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’.

The Queen’s 90th Birthday Party Assembly Special half price to celebrate Her Majesty's Big Day! Whilst 'gracing this assembly' with her presence, the 'party lady' seems just a little reluctant to join in the festivities. So what can our narrator and supporting cast do to change this situation? Well, did someone say it was Her Majesty's 90th birthday? Then, let's hear it for those 90 reasons to celebrate! Sample Text Music 1 Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory (Cast files in with Music 1 in background; all take their seats) Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects on my birthday! 90 years! Not bad, eh? Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, your Majesty! But we are here today to celebrate your birthday with you! Queen: Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about that! Narrator: Oh? And why’s that? Queen: (Wistfully) Oh I don’t know. Once one has had as many birthdays as one has .. Narrator: You mean, you’re bored of birthdays? Queen: Well, I’m not quite the party creature I used to be! Narrator: Nonsense! And you know what? That’s what we’re here to prove to you today! Queen: Oh really! Well .. (Queen looks uncertain, shaking her head) Narrator: (To Cast) OK. Time to make Her Majesty’s day! Queen: (Sighing) You can try .. Narrator: Well, with ninety reasons to celebrate your birthday I don’t see how we can go wrong! Whole cast: (Exclaiming together) Ninety? Narrator: You heard! Ninety! And if we’re going to fit those ninety into the next (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, we’d better get a move on! Off we go! Queen: Well, you don’t mind if I make myself comfortable on this here throne? (Queen ‘settles herself comfortably’ onto throne) Queen: Ah that’s better. Do start! Narrator: Well, there are quite a few perks to being Queen, I think you’ll agree? (Queen nods) Child 1: For starters, you get to have two birthdays a year! Can’t be bad! That’s your real one on 21st April and another official one in June!

Rio 2016 Olympic Ode Suggestions on how to use This poem is made up of three parts, taken from the three words of the Olympic Motto - Citius, Altius, Fortius: I. Faster II. Higher III. Stronger Each part is made up of six verses (with chorus to start and/or finish) 18 speakers - 1 verse each, with whole class reading the chorus. 21 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning of each part 24 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning and end of each part 30 speakers - As for 24 speakers but including six extra verses provided at the end of III, made up of three winners and three losers. I. Faster Chorus Faster, higher, stronger, Olympic champions, we. Faster, higher, stronger, That's all we want to be! Runner 1: The training's over We're on the track We're primed for action There's no looking back. Runner 2: On your marks Get set, go! It's now or never We can't be slow. Other scripts available from Sue Russell: ASSEMBLIES 1. Brazil Host Country to 2016 Rio Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. History of the Olympics Assembly 6. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 7. Olympics Assembly for Key Stage 1 Rio 2016 8. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers!

Chocolate Assembly (Also available in Key Stage I version) Cast of 30 though easily adaptable up or down. Duration around 15 - 20 minutes. This script on Chocolate covers all subjects of the curriculum i.e. it's a class theme. And how can it not be a popular one when there are so many of everyone's favourite indulgence in it - CHOCOLATES! While covering a few of these (make that 32 - and that doesn't cover the box contents!) there is ample coverage of chocolate's 2,000 year old history - way back to the ancient Mayan culture, .. and not forgetting the amazing Mr Cadbury of course! As chocolate is 'the class theme' there are cross curricular links - covering all primary school subjects - this great challenge rewarded by a generous dose of .... you've guessed! Chocolate! I'm guessing of all my assemblies this one will go down best with both cast and audience! Don't miss out! Sample Text: Child 2: (To Head) And I believe you have a box or two, hidden away, for your staff? (Head turns to Music Teacher) Head: Oops! It seems our secret is out! Child 2: No secret! We only had to look at all the weight our teachers were putting on! (Head reluctantly hands box of Roses chocolates to Child 2) Child 2: Thank you! Ah! (Rubbing tummy) That’s better! Head: (Grunting) Don’t tell me! This is the P.S.H.E. part! Child 2: Correct! Whole cast: (Rubbing tummies) Chocolate makes you feel so good! Child 3: And then there are all those lovely colours, flavours and pretty wrappers. Take this box of Cadburys Roses for example. (Each child holds up the sweet they are naming) Child 4: Strawberry Dream! Child 5: Golden Barrel! Child 6: Tangy Orange Crème! Child 7: Brazilian Darkness! (Child 8 walks over and takes a box of Milk Tray from protesting Head; the opened box is then offered to Child 9 - 12 in turn, calling out names as they take them)

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Harvest Festival Whole Class Assembly This class assembly, written for cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) is a kind of alternative Harvest Festival, the suggestion being the class are the crop with teachers as harvesters. Duration around 10 - 20 minutes depending on how much music is used. Starting with hymn 'We plough the fields and scatter' and ending with beautiful Michael Jackson song - 'We are the world, we are the children' which sums up the message behind this assembly. Also available - another Harvest Festival script written for just 6 speakers (feathery fowl!) but with suggestions in productions notes as to how to convert this into whole class assembly. Sample Text Child 1: It’s easy because all you have to do is give or share whatever gift you have! Narrator: Wait a minute! You’re losing me! (Repeating) ‘Whatever gift you have’? Child 2: Right! We all have our own special gift to give! Child 3: Bit like a seed in all of us. Child 4: Sometimes that seed germinates by itself Music 2 (Enter Child 5, singing, as ‘rock star’ – choice of ‘rock star’ track down to children) Narrator: (Applauding) Wow! That’s some voice you’ve got! Child 5: Well, thank you. But it wouldn’t mean anything to me unless I could share it with my fans! (Exit Child 5) (Enter Child 6, writing) (Narrator walks over to Child 6, who gives notebook to him/her to read) Narrator: Wow! How did you come up with all these ideas? What a story! Child 6: Thank you. And it’s the fact I can share it with all my hundreds of thousands of readers that makes it so special to me. (Exit Child 6) Child 7: But we’re not of course suggesting we can all be rock stars or famous authors! Child 8: Some of us, despite huge talent, may reach a much smaller audience. Child 9: Fame isn’t everything and it is only the tiny minority that achieve it. Child 10: Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t all strive to make the very most of whatever gift we possess. Narrator: Ah! I see! (Pauses) By ‘gift’ you mean ‘talent’? Child 11: That’s right! And we all have our very own special talent – even if it doesn’t bring us fame and riches! Child 12: (Grunting and pulling a face) Hmm. That’s a shame!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach

Dinosaurs Rock Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered which dinosaur was the *biggest, the smallest, the most heavily armoured, the brightest, the fastest, the deadliest, the weirdest ..... Read on and find out! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes not including music Also available, set of guided reading dinosaur scripts Sample Text Music 2 - We Will Rock You - Queen (Enter Seismosaurus, Mamenchisaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Carcharodontosaurus) (Everyone shaking in seats) Narrator: What's happening? Is it an earthquake? Seismosaurus: Sorry! That would be me! I'll try not to move - all 120 feet of me! They don't call me ‘earth-shaking lizard' for nothing! Mamenchisaurus: But when you've got necks as long as us, you really don't need to move that far! My neck alone was 46 feet long! Gigantosaurus: And I, Gigantosaurus, was the daddy of the meat-eaters! All 8,000 kilograms of me! Carcharondontaurus: And I sure had a mean pair of ‘choppers' - no prizes for guessing where my name ‘shark-tooth lizard' came from! Spinosaurus: Well, take a look at my jaws! I, Spinosaurus, was called spiny lizard because of these spines on my back, but nobody was going to argue with these (snapping crocodile-like jaws, open and shut) For optional poetry addition see The Dinosaurs That Time Forgot by David Harmer and Paul Cookson. Writer, Sue Russell, has included information from recent discovery of 'the largest' as per Telegraph article "Giant of giants rises from the desert" May 18 2014

Space Assembly for Key Stage I Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - 15 - 20 minutes Fun 'romp' through Space - with astronauts and, most importantly, rocket men - who would have thought an astronaut could forget his own rocket?! All 8 planets covered - before Narrator returns to Earth! Also available off this website: Key Stage II version of this script: The Planets. This has a lot more information - plus alien struggling to find his home planet! Sample Text (Key Stage I Space Assembly): Astronaut 1: (To Narrator) Hello! Are you all right? Narrator: Oh (taking a seat) I think I just need a little break. (Sighing) All these space facts! Astronaut 1: No worries! I’m the expert on space! Music 5 Rocket Man – Elton John (Enter Rocket Man 1 carrying rocket) Rocket Man 1: (To Astronaut 1) Did you forget something? Astronaut 1: Ah thank you! Won’t get far without my rocket, here! Rocket Man 1: Where are you going? Astronaut 1: To Mercury! (Astronaut fastens helmet, taking seat in/in front of rocket) Rocket Man 1: (Chanting) 5 4 3 2 1 Blast off! (Exit Rocket Man 1 and Astronaut I, plus rocket, waving) Music 6 Mercury – The Planets (Holst)

Risk and Danger Assembly Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement! Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions: 1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson 2. Take a Chance – Abba 3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder 4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor 5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action! Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’ Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil! Sample Text: Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right? (All nod) Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds! Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming! Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see? (Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good) Ah that’s better! What was I saying? Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks. Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one? Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end! Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please! (Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’) Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute! (Julius Caesar collapses in a heap) (Tumultuous applause from the whole cast) Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'! (Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow) Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the